Thursday, September 25, 2008

25 years and a Led Zeppelin song

So I get this phone call from my mom this evening..."I wanted to let you know about Cashmere...." and I know what the rest of that sentence will be.
But let's go back. When I moved to Chicago a strange pattern began. I would get tidbits of information about my family, my friends, my life back home from random sources. My sister in law would let me in on the latest scandal, my mom would slip up and tell me some secret about my best friend, things like that. I felt a little "out of the loop" sometimes but so it goes.... Then I moved to Maryland and the 'pattern' became an epidemic. I didn't know my dad was sick until he was scheduled for surgery, cousins were giving birth to second and third children and I didn't even know they had ever gotten pregnant! This was now a problem!
So one night I call my mom and proceed to have this long conversation about how I needed to be kept more 'up to date', more abreast of the issues. I made it very clear that I wanted things straight from the source, dammit and let me tell you she has kept her word. Every tiny little insignificant detail about my 3rd cousin's bridal shower I am made aware of!
And so now here I sit...very up to date and aware of the fact that my cat of 25 years has finally passed on. She has left us for that big litter box in the sky. This cat rocked I must say. She was around forever! She made it through my brother and I both leaving, another cat and a dog joining the bunch. She was the first cat in our family to smack my dog Tootsie in the face and let me tell you that cat knew how to party. There was NEVER a Patsy party that she did not poke her head out to see what was shaking. In her last few years she had gone a little blind and a lot deaf but she was still full of sass.
Let me just say that she will be greatly missed. We all dug her a lot.
Let me also say to her that I am sorry. My brother named this cat and I never once understood why until tonight. My brother has always had incredible taste in music and leave it to a 10 year old kid to name a cat after one of the greatest songs by one of the greatest bands ever.
Here's to you, Kashmir!
My Shangri-la beneath the summer moon, I will return again
Sure as the dust that floats high in June, when movin' through Kashmir

Friday, September 19, 2008

It began with five simple words..."So, your coffee is free". Those sweet words coming out of the mouth of the sweet Indian woman who works at my local Dunkin' Donuts and my perspective for the day is changed. I turn left instead of a right out of the parking lot. I head to the park instead of home (I've got the dog with so why not?). It was just an hour of my day. One hour. One simple unplanned hour of my day and all of the stress from the past few days is gone.
Without going into too much detail (you would be bored to tears) I had a tiny bit of trouble at my new job, nothing devastating, tiny really...but it had to do with my I guess HUGE in a way. There was a slight possibility that I would not be getting one. Well, at least not as soon as I had planned. Do you know how disappointing...not to mention completely stressful that is!?! Anyhoo...disaster averted, I will be getting paid but that stress can hang onto you like the gummy stuff on picture frames.
So the Tooter and I head to the park. My (free) coffee is in my cup holder, my eggwhite flatbread sandwich on the car seat next to me... and yes, they are awesome.
My window is down because it is one of those fantastic days where you think fall might be right around the corner... or to quote the Genius that is the Indigo Girls...."When summer's beginning to give up her fight".
I feel a bit of a chill cause frankly I was not prepared to go to the park and am in a simple jersey dress, but I still love it. I get onto Forest Drive and head up towards Hillsmere. The new (well not "new" but new to the radio) Jason Mraz song comes on. Now I own the cd but I just love to catch the songs I adore on the radio so I turn it up and there I go, driving along, mouth full of breakfast sandwich, singing along and bopping my head with Tooter hanging hers out the back window.
I could've easily driven for another hour.
But frankly that coffee would've eventually kicked in and that would not have been a pretty picture at all.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I don't know what to do...I just don't fucking know what to do.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Look ma, I got a blog!

And apparently I am the last one. All of my other posts are referred to as "archives" because I had already written and published them on myspace...enjoy. This is gonna be fun.

Archive 9-8-2008

Those darn kids with their darn loud music!

Okay, so normally when I blog I try to write something witty, relevent, and fun. But today I just have to complain a little....about the MTV Video Music Awards (or the "VMA's").
Now it has been a loooong time since I've actually wached MTV mostly due to the fact that it has been a looooong time since MTV has actually shown any videos. I'm surprised anybody can vote on these "videos" considering they only come on in the wee small hours of morning smashed between episodes of The Hills and Sweet Sixteen, and yes, I realize that MTV shows reruns of America's Next Top Model.....Why? I mean, I watch it but what does a bunch of skinny, vapid, fabulously photographable bitches have to do with "music television"?
Anyhoo. I was intrigued by the return of Britney and then I heard my girl Christina was performing, and damn it all if I wasn't sucked right in.
Now I will preface with the fact that I did not watch the entire thing. We were flipping back and forth between football and frankly at 10:30, Sunset Tan came on and you know (!) I'm not missing the Keely/Nick throwdown (don't judge).
So here are a few of my personal highlights from the VMA's that I really didn't watch a whole lot of because they are really dumb.
Let's start at the very beginning.
-One year ago I MISSED the Britney performance. The fabulous, train wreck that is Brit. So you know I was NOT missing this year....and thank god the Chicago game had a commercial cause I would've missed it! Damn! Dad has got her on a sort leash these days....but she looks amazing. Good job Brit, for keeping it short and to the point. And thank you for wearing that hot silver number reminiscent of the early Brit days.
-Who is the stupid british dude? He sucks! Yes, we all want the Bush's out of the White House but let it go, brother. (Now see, this is where Brit needed to interrupt the show with some hot new performance).
-Can somebody PLEASE get Demi a microphone?
-Who is Lil' Wayne and why do I care about his underwear? Really does noone understand that this was NEVER hot, NEVER.
-PINK! Oh my saving grace. Thank you for all of your no nonsense, smartass, fantastic-ness!!! She rocked the house....and blew up a couple too. Thank you for giving us your heartache in an amazingly badass song, I adore it.
-Christina, my girl! I know you were lipsynching, we all know, but your just so good at it and you look fierce!
One last thing and I promise I'm done. I didn't stay til the end...I don't know if it got better...but come on MTV. 25 years and you still can't get good stage managers? Give me a call I can give you some names. From what I saw that was the worst put together awards show EVER.....EVER. But Britney won, the british dude said like one funny thing and I got to see what all the hype was over these Jonas boys-which is not much.
Damn I'm old.

Archive 8-17-2008

Gotta love that technology.

It's a lovely Sunday here in Annapolis. I haven't had Sundays off in about a year and a half so I am really enjoying them. Today I decided to go to the local Famer's Market. The husband's laid up, the dog has been I go for a hour to myself. I love this stuff! I love walking around, outside, enjoying the weather while abnormaly chipper people try to sell me their wares. It wasn't a very large farmer's market so I was done pretty quickly. With my bags in tow (I bought kale, corn, a cucumber and some pepper jelly) I head back to my car, which is parked a little ways away so I can get some exercise and enjoy more of the sun. I am approaching my car, head full of "green" thoughts, when the following scenario is played out before me.
A white minivan, mom, dad and two kids. It's one of those supercool minivans with the side door that can open automatically for people who need it to, you know, like, say, an expectant mother with a small child or grandpa who's chugging right along with his cane. Mom is the driver so her door is open, dad's shotgun door is also open so you know this van ain't locked. The kids (who are well into their awkward 'tween years) AND dad are yelling...yes whiney mom to open the side door. Now this minivan is really special, you see, there is in fact another door handle...on the outside of the car! But lo and behold all of a sudden, like magic, the side door begins to open all on it's own! Oh no wait, that's right, the bratty, perfectly healthy, lazy kids whined long enough at mom to get her to open the side door for them.
Betcha she can't wait for school to start again

Archive 8-8-2008

Not afraid of the embarrassment....

I learned 4 very important things tonight.
1. China invented the kite.
2. The "Birdsnest' is a national symbol of China
3. I can make a badass fish taco.
4. When making said "badass fish taco", with a lovely guacamole made with avocados, greek yogurt, and other veggies including JALAPENO, and a nice cabbage slaw made with cabbage, tomatoes and other veggies including not...I repeat DO NOT pick your nose!

(at least wash your hands first...and no, I am not embarassed, we all do it)
(also ummm I am not referring to anything falling into the guac...I am referring to the burning sensation in your nose!)

Archive 7-14-2008

Happiness is a warm gun.

Well I won't go that far....but I will say that happiness is relative.
Are you happy with your job?, not really (all you "f"ers out there that say "Yes, I love my job, it is so satisfying and wonderful"...bite me)
Are you happy with your body? Not so much, no. (Again, suck it if you say yes, this is not about you)
Is your relationship perfect and wonderful, cause you never, ever, ever fight with your spouse? Excuse me for a moment.....(hahahaahhahahhahahahahahahhahaha)
I love my husband.
But we are far from perfect and we fight like nobody's business. I recall looking at couples, friends of mine, that looked so perfect, they "belonged" together, they seemed so happy. And then I would find out that one of them cheated, or they haven't had sex in months.
And that's when I realized that it is all relative to your relationship. Some women can forgive, some can forget.
I, thankfully, have never found myself in one of the above situations.....but that doesn't mean that everything is wine and roses. We have been that couple that everyone thinks is "perfect". Wow, she buys him Playboy? Omigod, he takes her out for karaoke?
But we have also been that couple that makes people uncomfortable in a bar because you can just tell that we are gonna have one massive fight later at home.
Tonight I realized why I got married. Not why I got "married", by why I married who I did.
I've had a rough go of it lately, not gonna lie. Not where I want to be in life, trying to make it better...miss some of my girls desperately.
My husband decided not to take anymore of my self-defeating shit and told me how it is. Wasn't pretty, wasn't perfect, wasn't the couple you wanna be in a bar...but it was real, supportive,
You don't marry the person who looks perfect next to you in a bar. You don't marry the person who says what you wanna hear.
Hopefully, you marry the person who doesn't take your shit, who tells you like it is (no matter how much it fucking sucks) and you marry the person who does all of that out of love....and here's hoping that you can do the same for them...because then people are gonna look at you and say "Damn, I wanna be that couple."

Archive 7-4-2008

Happy 4th!

So today is the 4th of July. We celebrate our Independence as a country today (although I thought I saw something on the internet about how the signing of the Declaration was actually on the 2nd).
As a child, we had very big celebrations for the 4th! My Uncle (as well as his twin daughters) were born on the 3rd so we always had a HUGE picnic, talent show and all. Gordy's Picnic! I sang every year.
Well years go by, people move away and Gordy's picnic is no longer. Does that mean my 4th sucks. Hell no! I now get to lay around with my husband (who unfortunately wasn't in my life at the time of "the picnic"), watch movies and terrible countdown shows on E!, and drink my new favorite drink, the "Skinny Girls Magarita". (YES, it is in fact a recipe from the Bravo series "The Real Housewives of New York"), but it rocks. 2oz of good tequila (she prefers Patron silver on the show, I drink me some Cabo Wabo...I love Sammy), splash of triple sec, splash of lime juice. "Skinny" because you don't have all the sour and sugar...badass because really, you're just drinking straight tequila.
So try the new drink recipe, enjoy your independence (and hopefully your day off) and here's to good times...cause we all need 'em!

Archive 6-30-2008

Judgey Wudgey was in fact a Judge!

Sometimes I wish I had a lot of money. Not for the obvious reasons like, security, a nice house, a lifetime subscription to every celebrity gossip magazine ever made!

No, not the little luxuries....I wish I had money so that I could treat people like shit. Ya ever notice that? People with money think that they have a right to treat
others in this world so badly that it can ruin your day, week...make you want to walk out of your job right then and there.

I am about to write some things that may sound to some as a bit pretentious...too bad. When I lived in Chicago I worked for a while on Michigan Ave., one of the largest shopping districts in the country.

We catered to people of all walks of life. Paris Hilton (seriously, her mom called me once) to your everyday, average, smelling like piss homeless guy (that guy
is nicer than Paris' mom). Now I had my fair share of bitchy, knocking on death's door, aging divas who still believe in Marshall Fields' dated saying..."Give the lady what she wants",and believe you me...the customer is in fact, NOT always right, but for the most part people were really chill. (I of course am not counting the Christmas season).

You see, in retail, you learn to let things roll off your's just lipgloss for god's sake! Plus people in a big city, with lots and lots of money, don't care
what YOU can't do for them...because if you can't, you bet your ass they will find someone else who can (see? pretentious). And they're not that rude about it frankly. I've found that people who know that no matter what they will get it done...don't stress over the little people like me who have no authority to make sure that Marshall Field's(now Macy's but nevertheless a high end department store) is stocked with loreal hair products (sorry Ms. Hilton)...they'll get one of their minions to run to Walgreens and be done with it.

NOW. I currently work for a non profit company....non profit...we got no dough folks. We are run on donations and grants. Donation: listed in the Webster dictionary as

1:The act of giving to a cause or fund., 2:A gift or grant.

Now I don't know about you but when i give a gift to someone I try not to use it against them for years to come or expect anything back. When I give a donation to something i believe in I do not expect that company to treat me any different than anyone else or frankly give a shit who I am. People don't give donations for recognition, they give because they can, because they're nice, because they want to feel a little bit better about the world around them and that maybe, they contributed to that.

Not the case for a lot of people here in my adopted hometown (yeah...a little pretentious). I can't tell you the number of times that I am put in the unfortunate position of telling someone "NO" either due to our policies or whatnot and their response to me is, "I give so much money to you people"....that still doesn't mean that I'm going to break the rules for you, jackass!

Case in point. A gentleman (and that's stretching it), a judge in fact, stepped into my office yesterday with a question. Now, I couldn't understand the question because this "judge", let's call him Judge Flatulence, was so heated already (it was 9:15 am) that he couldn't get his point across to me without yelling and talking all over me.

I, as a grown woman who frankly, has had too many people yell at her in the last couple of years, asked Judge Flatulence to calm down so I could answer his question.

Well good ol' Judge Flatulence turned into Judge Dredd! This man of our judicial system told me that he would love to get me into his court so he could "teach me a lesson" and that I couldn't do anything to him because I was just a "volunteer". Now, I'm not one to get all caught up in labels, I LOVE our volunteers, but I am the Office Manager, and in this day and age, with the internet, letters to the editor, Law and Order and even my lowly blog, I think I could do a lot more to him than he realizes.

I started to write out the phone number that he needed and said that I was sorry, but I was only trying to answer his questions....his comeback? "No you weren't, you were just trying to act like a bitch!" I then calmly asked him to leave before I called the police and spent the rest of the day in a funk.

Why in a funk, Sara? You stood up to him and never once called him a name. Why would you let Judge Flatulance ruin your day? You may be asking yourselves these questions and I will give you an answer. Because it's exhausting to get yelled at.

It's upsetting to be long out of my freshman year of high school and have someone still hurt my feelings by calling me a bitch. I realize it's because he is unhappy in his own life and has to make himself feel better by shitting somebody else...I don't want to be shit on! It sucks! It sucks that somebody feels that he has the right to do that to another person.It sucks that somebody feels that he is in a higher position than I, and can abuse that.

And it sucks that one person can make my day suck even more than it already does sometimes. I have probably been called a bitch, uncaring, c*%t more times in the past year than in my whole life. And it's just because I am not able to give everyone exactly what they want. Which is how life goes!

What is the point of this excessively long and rambling blog? I don't know. Getting it off my chest so I don't throw a beer bottle through my sliding glass door, I guess.

Maybe I will just say this. Next time you call a place of business, a place where they will be doing a service for you, and the person who answers isn't exactly chipper or as sweet and nice as you would like them to be, take into account that maybe, just maybe Judge Flatulence just left the building and they might be having a rough day.

Just be nice...and patient..please.

Archive 4-26-2008

Life is funny that way, ain’t it?

There are many a reason for me to be crabby these days. I am unhappy with my womanly (i.e. "chubby, out of shape") figure, I get angry, frustrating phone calls at work that sometimes I can't do anything about, and the landlords are back in town (don't get me wrong, the landlords are fine, but they live right below us, and are retired-so when they go out of town we get this little jolt of "when the cats are away the mice will play". We're a little louder, a little free-er.....anyway). So when this weekend rolled around I was sort of ambivilant about it. Sometimes happiness sneaks up on you.
If you have read this blog before, you will know that it is the little things that really get a good way. In that sense, this weekend rocked.
Thursday (which is my Friday) I went to preview night of my husband's show, Hauptmann. He was great. No really, I know that I should say that no matter what, but he was. He took this role (he played numerous, but his highlighted role was the prosecuting attorney in the Lindbergh baby kidnapping case) and he made it so layered and interesting. I was a glowing wife.
But before the show we stopped by an Irish restaurant for a drink and an appetizer. Food was good, drinks were better (lord almighty I talk about drinking a lot don't I?) and Ty left early to get to his call. I stayed and on a whim ordered a Cosmopolitan. So there I sat, book in hand, martini in the other. As any other woman may know, it doesn't get any better than sitting in a bar, by yourself, not being bothered, drinking a martini(or whatever you drink).
The following night I stocked up and had a couple of close friends over. Good friends, good conversation...but the highlight? Watching a sweet unassuming chihuahua get the crap humped out of him by my dominant terrier mutt...she truly is her mother's girl.
But today took the cake. We had cleaned for my aforementioned guests so we awoke to a clean house. I ran to the store for breakfast fixin's while my beloved made coffee, and we a clean apartment...with our coffee...and our books. And we just were. And tonight I sit while Ty does his show...and I just am.
It took me years to realize this and sometimes I still forget...sometimes we all forget.
Sometimes it feels unbelievable to just be.

Archive 4-21-2008

Judgy Wudgy was a meddling relative

It is not a shocker that I am not always pleased with the way I look (who is really?). I'm chubby...not afraid to say it...chubster am I. Believe me(!) I am trying to change that but as we all know it's not that easy to do. Let's take a look at my weight fluctuating past, shall we?

I come from a curvy family. My mom's curvy, my aunt's are curvy, I have one cousin who is a 6' model type. I love her with all my heart. My inside joke with her? She got the legs, I got the boobs. I've never been a skinny girl but damn my tits and ass looked great in my senior year prom dress.

About 7 years ago, as I was about to leave college for the big city life, I had a really sucky break up. I wanted nothing more than to look fabulous and after a few months I did. I got down to about 100 lbs. I was hot! And miserable. I don't recall what I was (or wasn't) eating, I sure as heck was drinking, and I worked out ALL the time. These are not the reasons I was miserable. I don't remember being hungry, I do remember being drunk (a little), and it felt good to work out. I was miserable in my life. I was at a huge turning point, making life changing decisions. I had no idea who I was and that made me tense and uncomfortable so I got sucked into thinking if I was skinny and boys in bars hit on me I could be happy, I wasn't.
As we all have read before, I met the love of my life five years ago (in fact this May is our 5 year anniversary as well as our 6 month wedding anniversary...we're opening a really awesome bottle of Pinot Noir for that...*gasp* imagine the calories!)...anyway. I was in a really good place. I didn't look half bad, I loved where I lived, what I did, and who I could he resist? Needless to say we fell in love, happily ever after, blah, blah, blah.
As many of you lovers out there may already know, a strange phenomena occurs when you fall blissfully in love. All you can think about is each other, you go out to dinner, you order dessert, wine, you move in together, you order pizza, wine...translation=you get fat! I got fat. I became a confident, happy person who loved to order chinese food and you guessed it, wine, with my boyfriend!
Do not misinterpret, I do not blame any of my weight gain on my husband. I blame it on the comfortability that comes with being a happy person, whether that be in your relationship, new job, or what have you. You go out, you celebrate, you have one more bite/drink and before you know it, you got some chub on you.
(Yes, Yes I know this isn't everyone. I know there are people out there who are fitness buffs and love to work out and have willpower, whatever, suck it then, this isn't about you)
I love to hang with the important people in my life and have a few drinks, I love to go out to dinner and experience my dinner, which means ordering dessert. Sometimes I love that feeling of being stuffed to the gills.
But I also loved my size 6 Calvin Kline yes I am a work in progress. I go to the gym, I walk the dog, I drink ALOT of water and dammit I do love vegetables. So I don't need a reminder, that's what a mirror is for. And sometimes I look in that mirror and think, "I look fucking hot today".

(as for the title of this post, i know what it means and that's all that matters)

Archive 2-27-2008

I’m not gonna lie here, folks...

...I'm an incredibly lucky woman. I have a job, a roof over my head, supportive and loving family members, a kick ass dog, not to mention the fact that I am married to one the most considerate men on this planet.

Now I am well aware that "considerate" is a very subjective word and that that is a pretty bold statement I just made about my husband. Does he always put the toilet seat down? Please! He hardly lifts it up. Does he always tell me what I want to hear? It's actually his philosophy never to. Does he constantly tease me about the fact that our dog does not speak english and cannot understand what I'm saying to her even though I love my daily conversations with her?!? Yes indeed he does!

But he holds doors, cooks dinner while I stand idly by, downing the bottle of wine, and let's me watch two nights of "Idol" while I only allow a few minutes of "Friday Night Smackdown".

I was reminded this evening as I took my post workout shower. Now I get that as a married couple that sleeps together, eats together and throws dirty clothes on the laundry room floor together, that we share ALOT of germs. But I still want my own shower poof. You know, the meshy, shower poof that a lot of us use to scrub any and all crevices that need scrubbing in the shower? I NEED my own. It weirds me out to even have mine hanging near someone else's. My husband teases me about this but in general, respects my "rule". Well, my shower poof was looking sad these days. It was stretched to kingdom come and even the little rope you use to hang it with had broken and was hanging by a sad wet knot I made with a head full of shampoo. But I still wouldn't use Ty' sir...nope!

I stepped into the shower this evening, turned around to grab my sad little poofy and what do I see hanging there? A brand spanking new, bright white poof. My man had hung it there just for me. Did I ask for it? Nope. Did my sweetie just "know"? Well, you couldn't miss the floppy purple that had been there before.

And that's just the way he is. Is Valentine's Day huge around our house? Not really because my babe does sweet stuff for me everyday. Whether it's moving my car in the morning so I don't have to get up early or picking up a diet coke for me so I can have it for work the next day.

So the next time you give your man hell because he forgot the 3 month anniversary of the first time you kissed, remember those little things he does for you everyday. Those little things that we miss. Those are the ones that count and really make our hearts smile.

As I stood there in the shower with my brand new heart smiled...cause my man rocks!

Archive 2-15-2008

Judgey Wudgey was a puppy dog!

I've got a few things on my mind right now....but we'll start with this one.

I work in a field where it is actually a good thing if we are a little judgemental, and being a judgemental person myself, I actually sometimes LOVE this.

That being said, some people don't like to be judged. Well, here are some things to keep in mind.

1. If you want to adopt a puppy, it'll help if you've EVER taken your current dog to the vet before.

2. If you want to adopt or foster, we will judge (just a little) if you just walked out of our incoming area to turn in some animals.

3. If you tell us that you will let your new cat be an indoor as well as outdoor cat, but you've had three cats that were hit by cars in the past, we will judge.

It's not that we want to judge (okay we kinda do)but what we really want is to be proven wrong. We want you to show us that you will treat this animal like one of your children...cause...newsflash!...we are not here for you! We are not here to make you happy..we're not salespeople...we are not here to make sure YOU get exactly what your impatient, stingy, whiney, pushy, condescending butt wants!

WE are here to make sure that this dog, the one that has been here for 6 months and doesn't know why, the one that we hear crying every time that door opens and someone walks past and doesn't pick him, we want to make he gets what HE needs. Or this cat, the one that has been purring up against her cage for over a year just hoping someone will choose her, we want to make sure SHE is happy.

So yes, I enjoy being judgemental because I know what's at stake. I know that if you lie or if you're wishy washy.....that is a possible animal that will be rejected again. And I don't want that. I wanna make sure that each animal that leaves my building will be as spoiled as my dog is. My bratty, whiney, not quite housebroken, gorgeous, perfect pup. My pup that I couldn't ever imagine giving up.

So please don't be insulted if we talk about you, or if we ask you alot of questions about how you raise your pet.....these are the animals that we spend day in and day out with...they need good homes too...and if we can't take them home ourselves, we want to make sure that YOU rock! Cause that's what our animals deserve!

Archive 2-1-2008

The day’s not over yet.

SO! I got this bulletin today from my lovely cousin, Tracy. It was one of those chain letter-like forwards. Ya know...."make a wish, send this to a gazillion people (or in this case 'repost'), and your wish will come true and you will have an amazing day....THIS friday!"

Well, it being Friday and I certainly have some wishes that I would like to see come true...not to mention I have the day off and the time...I went for it.

I scrolled, I wished, I held my breathe and clicked send.

And here's my Friday. Not only did my wish NOT come true but I found out at the doctor that I have high cholesterol AND I'm anemic. What does this mean, you may ask. It means, I have to take Iron pills every day....AND....keep some metamucil on hand in case I get all stopped up (sorry for the TMI). I also should apparently change my diet and keep up on my exercise....what am I? 55 years old!?

So much for my amazing Friday....course the night is still young, we'll see what happens....

Archive 12-6-2007

Aaaaaaand done!

So here we are folks, married, married and a little bit more married.

Does it rock? Oh yeah

Is my life completely different? Not a whole lot, no

Am I deliriously happy? Yep (but then again, I was pretty happy before)

The wedding was awesome, everyone had a great time and now we are back to real life.

And I love it!

Archive 11-17-2007


Yes ladies and gents, here it is! Exactly one week from today I will be Mrs. Cobb. I am currently sitting at one of me dearest friends house. Last night we had a mini girls night and today we are primping for the real bachelorette party!

It's been a whirlwind already. I got into town Thursday, spent the day with my amazing niece, hit the bars with my folks and turned in pretty late. Yesterday I got to meet my best friends baby for the first time. It was very surreal seeing her as a mom. She is a natural, she was so effortless and her son is beautiful. Now today, we got up, had some breakfast and soon my dear friend Kate and I will be off for a day of nails and shopping before all my girls get me nice and drunk. I am just so excited to be here in Minnesota, seeing my family and friends and the grand finale is waking up Sunday morning with my husband! I cannot frickin' wait!!!

Archive 9-22-2007

Wedding stress.

"No matter what you do, you're never gonna make everyone happy." Never is this statement more true than when you are planning a wedding!
We're getting down to the wire now folks (2 months to go!) and frankly I am sick of making this wedding easier on everyone else. From the start of this adventure I have always said that it wasn't gonna be a hassle for anyone, "don't worry, it won't be that long a ceremony", don't even mention it, i don't need that sign i have been talking about for a year", "no problem, let's go ahead and try to squeeze one more person into the already filled house for the ceremony....cause gosh we can afford one more!"
Here it come ladies and gentlemen, the one thing I promised myself I would never do.....................................................................................................................
It is my day dammit! And what I want, from here on out, I get!!!! I'm the bride, for christ's sake....what I SAY GOES!!!!!!
Whew! That felt good.

Archive 7-8-2007

I DID IT!!!!

Yessiree folks, I got me a weddin' dress. It happened just like I thought it would...well almost.

Friday morning Ty and I got up, had a lovely breakfast and headed out the door for some errand running. He followed me to the auto body shop in the hopes that they could take my car and fix it that day, ha! When that fantasy flew out the window we made a later appointment and drove off in opposite directions, Ty, to the library, me to the mall to get a much needed haircut.

After my haircut, I strolled through the mall, hair damp cause frankly it's cheaper(they charge you for a blow dry!). I stopped in one of the many department stores to hit a sale. As I'm leaving, packages in tow, hair still wet, I see it. Gosh it's pretty, maybe I should...well, I don't know, I'm barely wearing mascara, my hair's wet and seriously, I'm in my sports bra.

Ah....who cares? Let's do it. So there I stand, on an ordinary Friday, in an ordinary department store dressing room, staring in the mirror at me in my wedding size too small!

I go tearing out in search of someone, anyone who works there that can help me...and you know this never happens. I rummage through the racks myself hoping that someone has just misplaced the one dress in my size...nothing. I grab my belongings and run off to the closest of the other 3 department stores, hoping beyond hope....and there it is. Hanging ever so gracefully on the wall...and it's my size. I walk slowly toward the dressing room, find an empty one and strip. I pull the dress on, wondering, if it was just a fluke, that maybe I really didn't look as good as I thought I did. I step out, halfway zipped up to look in the threeway mirror. "Did you need some help zipping that up?" I turn, a very lovely woman of about 40 is standing there in her own dress waiting for a friend. "Please" I say...still a bit nervous. She zips it up, I stand there, hair still damp, and I hear the 40 year old from behind me say, with not one note of sarcasm, "I don't mean to impose, but I really hope that that is your wedding dress."

"Yes it is," I say "Yes it is".

Archive 5-16-2007

So...I'm in a show!

Yeppers, I auditioned for summer community outdoor theatre in downtown Annapolis and I got the part.

Maybe it's because it's been a while since I did a show and I got the itch bad or because I really didn't give a shit if I got in or not, but frankly, it was one of my best auditions EVER!

The show is Thoroughly Modern Millie and it's a huge tap dance if you know me you realize that tap dancing is virtually impossible for me, with the lack of ankle motion in one leg and all. BUT there is one part in the show that only has to do a bit o' ballroom. Here's the's kind of the ingenue-y, pretty one(still comedic). Now being a relatively chubby, character actress who tried for years to be the ingenue, I wasn't too optimistic. Can I sing the role? Oh I can sing the crap out of it! Can I act the part? Yep! So why not?

I walked into those auditions a bit nervous knowing that they would all already know each other but still pretty confident, again, I had nothing to lose. I picked the right song, I had a great new outfit, let's do this. I sang, I read, I got called back and then called back again....really, I knew I had it.

I'll put a tiny disclaimer here....there were some amazing talents there, other girls that could sing the part just fine...I was better. It was exhilerating, because I didn't care, I sang my ass off....why couldn't I do that in college?!?

We start rehearsals next week and I can't wait. If you're in the area, come check it out

Archive 4-20-2007

It's the little things

You ever notice that?...of course you do. It's on Hallmark cards, commercials and every fairy tale lesson we know comes down to...the little things.

For some it's a smile from a loved one, others a beautiful nature scene and even others, some plain, old alone time in a bath with a book. Now while I do enjoy those things as well, it's something a bit different for me.

I'm a foodie. I always have been, my parents raised me on fantastic restaurant (and home cooked) food and when I was old enough, wine.

So, to me, there is nothing better than staying at home and cooking a meal together. It's romantic, fun, and let's face it, pretty darn sexy. That being said, it's not necesssarily the meal that gets me. If you've ever spent an evening with your lover, friends or even family at Thanksgiving, you know so much more happens when you are cooking and half the time you're full before you even sit down. That's my favorite, the beforehand.

I'm not gonna kid anyone and pretend that I cook, I don't. I've been lucky enough to have the two men in my life (dad and soon to be husband) actually love to cook. That's fine, I'll let them. Because what I get to do is that "little thing" I keep talking about. I get to make the appetizer. Now, appetizer may be pushing it. What I really mean is that..well....we all get hungry while we are waiting for the actual "meal" so what's better than a great "appetizer"? Whether that be a salad, cheese and crackers, or just a glass of wine and a handful of gourmet nuts(who am I kidding, there's always wine) it just feels kind of sexy to walk around with that glass of wine in hand, almost bumping into each other in the miniscule kitchen, feeding the man I love a little snack while he slaves away at the grill.

So while the world sometimes feels like it's falling apart around us because of stress in our lives or the horrors of the world, that's when we really need to relish the little things. A blossoming flower, puppy kisses, a child's laughter or a walk on a sunny day. I find that peace in being with the one I love, sharing laughs, puppy kisses, and a plate of cheese and crackers....and of course wine.

Archive 2-14-2007

Ice, Ice, Baby!

We got our first ice storm!

Now this is a very cold winter in Maryland...apparently. I guess last year it snowed once. This year, my fiance, who's a teacher, has had like, 3 snow days! Now I grew up in Minnesota and there could be 12 feet of snow (sorry upstate NY) and the t.v. news people laughed at us for even turning on our televisions to check to see if maybe....just maybe....

Yesterday the storm started. The t.v. and radio warned of imminent weather...the salt trucks prepared and the schools closed early. I, of course, was at work, rolling my eyes when...what's that I hear? it?....really?....."Attention staff, we will be closing at 2 pm today." Uh uh.......uh huh! One of us swept, the other mopped and the boss even chipped in and counted the money so we could get outta there. I cuddled in with my valentine, a fire and homemade chili.

This morning, Ty's alarm went off too early. He wouldn't have school but he had to at least wake up and check......I would have to leave in a couple of hours for work....when I asked the boss, "Should I call or anything tomorrow?" she just shook her head and said "Come in"....damn. All of a sudden I get a text's 5am, is Ty really texting me from the other room to gloat about getting yet another day off! I open my phone...almost too groggy to even see the words...but I do. "We're closed today, stay home."

So here I sit. Our place surrounded by ice (really it is, I took pictures) wondering what I will do with my self today.

Laundry? Finally clean out the closet? Get back into my book?

I'm guessing I'll snuggle with my valentine, light a fire, and have some leftover chili.

Archive 2-9-2007

Oh the pressure.......

........of a dress. Although I may have found mine, let's step back a moment.

I stepped into my first bridal shop to try on a bridal gown of my own 26 and a half hours ago, and I almost decided to get married in jeans. It was one of the most annoying, somewhat intimidating, downright rude experiences of my life.

Her name was Dorothy. I wouldn't be surprised if she goes by "Dotty" socially. I filled out papers, giving her, what I believe, to be too much info, stepped into the robe and slippers she provided me with and stepped into bride hell....and Dotty was the devil.

I told her what I was interested in (not strapless, no beads, simple) while i made her aware that I was willing to try on anything. The only dresses she brought me were strapless! Yes I know that they can build whatever I want but you can't tell what straps will look like when they are pinned to a strapless dress.

Fine Dotty, I will try on your strapless dresses that make me look fabulous and thin from the front view but there is no way I am going to be able to sit, breathe or drink more than one glass of bubbly in it.......but while you're at it, could you grab that very fetching number that I've been eyeing since i walked in? The light teal one on that mannequin over

The bitch actually said no! She informed me that because I was short waisted it would not look good on me and therefore was not allowing me to try it on. I'm the goddamned bride! Aren't you supposed to give me whatever I want!?

That being said today, my mother and I drove to historic Alexandria, Virginia and stepped into vintage heaven. They let me try on whatever I wanted, never once pressured me to fact...encouraged me to "think about it", and made the whole experience so much fun I got weepy when we left.

I may have found my dress today, I'm not sure yet. It's a big decision! BUT, I had exactly the experience I, easy going, fun. And that's all I really care about.

Archive 2-3-2007


Holy Crap, I'm going shopping for a wedding dress!

I got engaged on November 28th, 2006. Over 2 months ago. And I am just starting to look at dresses. Oh now don't get me wrong, 3 years ago when I realized 'this was for reals' with my beau, I certainly started imagining, cutting out pictures in magazines, debating which colors my girls would look their very best in. But now it's a whole different ball game.

Did you know that you have to make appointments to shop for gowns? Oh yeah, you can't just stroll in, grab a dress that fancies ya, jump in the dressing room and have at it. Nope. You have to advance. Tell them when you're getting hitched and plan for like, 2 hours(!) in their store. You get a personal assistant to help and if you're lucky, I hear champagne. This shit is serious.

I, on the other hand, am not that serious. I decided a long time ago I was not going to be a "bridezilla". Some brides' main concern is where, others' when, some even get really bent outta shape about the dang flowers...that are going to die...really soon after the wedding!

Nope, not me. My main concern is getting my family and friends together for a big, fat, fabulous party. So when it come to my dress, the gown that my father will give me away in, I want comfort...and to not look fat. I love strapless gowns...on other women. I myself have breasts, breasts that need to be held up by something, and really who are we kidding with strapless bras. I refuse to run around my reception, drunk(cause I will be), trying to dance to "We are family", all the while yanking up my dress so the girls don't throw a party of their own.

I presently have two appointments made in honor of my mother coming to visit. I wanted to try on my first wedding dress with my mom, sentimental I know, but it's important.

I don't want a dress that costs a thousand dollars, I don't need a particular designer, and, at 30, I no longer need to look like a poofy princess. I just want something that will make me look like my most beautiful...and skinny....and relaxed.

I'll let you know how it goes;)

Archive 1-29-2007

Mean people suck!

Ugh! Are we in 7th grade??? I don't get this passive aggressive crap. Very recently I have run into or been made aware of the cruelty of people. Now I guess "cruelty" is a strong word but come on, can't we all just get along?

I realize that not everyone is going to like me, or my friends, for that matter....but I like my friends. Which means if you fuck with them I'm not gonna like you very much.

For example, if say, in a fit of rage, you decide to prey someone's weakness...not even weakness but maybe a part of them that they're not so secure with.......well that make you a sucky bitch, sorry, but it does. Getting along with people is hard. Personalities clash, schedules conflict, and sometimes you just need to learn how to COMPROMISE.

Let's say that again people.....COMPROMISE.

I am 30 years old (in 23 days) and I am too "F"ing old to be dealing with such babyish, neurotic, stupid, petty people. Get over yourself! Suck it up and realize it isn't always about you. If you think it is, you're gonna have a really hard time keeping any sort of relationship going.

Being nice to people pays really does. When you're nice to people, they are nice to you. It's a pretty simple concept to grasp.

In conclusion.....

My friends rock and I stick by them not matter what. That is what being a friend means. People who are mean to my friends suck. And I no longer like them.

Now let's go dirty up that kitchen!

Archive 1-12-2007

Did you know............. much it sucks not to have your girlfriends around to shop for wedding dresses with???

I'm not getting married for 11 months but man, it'd be fun to go downtown to some uppity shop and try on way too frilly, way too expensive dresses.

So here's to my girls....Katie, Heather, Kate, Susan, Hollie(you feel my pain), Nik, Dani, Denise, Renee, and of course Mom.

I miss you! And watch out next time we get to Chicago.....'cause somebody's taking my ass to a bridal shop!

Archive 12-28-2006


So about a hundred and fifty years ago I lived in the city.

The city. Where I could come and go as I please and not worry about the price of gas. Where I had every cuisine you can think of in a matter of blocks. Where I could go out and get hammered and not even think twice about who was sober enough to drive, I was sure that CTA person could handle it.

I biked to work, I walked my dog at night without a flashlight, and I could buy my wine practically anywhere, every day of the week.

Boy how shit has changed!

I drive a VW Golf, my neighborhood is gated and has no streetlights. I know the meaning of the word "traffic", and suddenly I find myself saying "$2.39? Find another station!"

If I wanted 3 buck chuck I would have to smuggle it over the state line. I pay car insurance for god's sake!

And I think I like it. Yes folks, I am domesticated. I call my boy (fiance!) and ask what's for dinner. I come home from work, watch some t.v., and am in bed by 10pm. We have laundry right off the bedroom( I still put it off). This certainly is a far cry from the days of starting the night at 11pm and sleeping til noon.

But we are settling nicely. It is a relatively laid back lifestyle so far because our weeks are mapped out for us. Some might see it as hell, I welcome the change. Change is good. Change makes us better.

I like my job, my apartment rocks and I feel a nice calm right now (despite the fact that I am trying to plan a wedding). I feel good, happy.

I can only hope Tootsie feels the same.

Archive 11-30-2006

I said yes.....

Yeppers. The man I love got down on one knee and finally proposed!

Couldn't say anything but yes...couldn't be anything but happy!

Archive 11-8-2006

This time with feeling!

Here I go, here I go, here I go again.
That's right folks, D-day is here...or should I say "M-day"? Don't care, I'm outta here!
Fours days, and too many couches with my ass print in them from now I will be in the arms of my beloved, face covered in doggie saliva.
I'm headed to Maryland...finally.
I got my phone replaced...finally. (send me numbers people)
I get to meet Ty's niece......finally.
A lot of good "finally's" happening soon.
If I didn't get to see you, I am sorry. Nobody is good at goodbye's and sometimes you just need to get on the plane.
Oooh song lyrics alert!
"I'm leaving on a jet plane
don't know when I'll be back again.
Oh babe, I hate to go"

Except I don't.......I can't wait.
Thank you to all my Chicago friends, I love you dearly.
Thanks to Sam and Heather for allowing me to stay the majority of my time at the "bed and breakfast".
Thanks to Sarah and Kate for filling in the gaps.
Thank you to all who supported us in this move, this adventure. The going away party was awesome!
Too many "thanks you's" to blog I still got a phone and email...shoot!
Wish us luck!

Archive 11-1-2006

Current mood: anxious
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

So here I sit...
Last night I finished mopping, dusting and primping my old apartment for re-rental, and locked the door for what I hope is the last time. Of course, I know it won't be.
We all know that moving sucks. The dust bunnies that come hopping out when you finally take apart the bed you haven't moved in almost 3 years, the moment you realize that your bathtub was in fact meant to be a nice, bright white, and those oh so wonderful hours you spend washing, folding and packing the clothes you've not worn in years because frankly, you forgot they were there.
It's overwhelming to say the least. Especially when coupled by the fact that this all happened so quickly that you are forced to find the ever elusive "subletter".
Moving sucks....trying to sublet your apartment is worse.
So here I sit....
Gracefully squatting on my dear friends' couch while my boyfriend and my dog are in the beginning stages of our new life in Maryland.
Why, Sara? Why are you here, by yourself, on a couch(a very comfy loving couch), without your doggie who you love and miss so? Why aren't you in Maryland, job-hunting, apartment-hunting, squatting on your boyfriend's family's couch instead?
I'll tell ya why folks....subleasing!
You post on craigslist, the reader, signs around the neighborhood. You show it to people, sometimes they come back to see it again. But to no avail. "Sorry, more than I wanted to spend", " I was really looking for a two bedroom", "Is that really the size of the toilet?"!
So here I sit...
Missing my boy and my dog....

I'll get there soon.
I hope.

Archive 10-10-2006

And ...they're off!!!

If you haven't already heard...(what rock are you under?)...I am moving. Maryland here I come.

When I was in high school our schools were broken up around the town, North and South campuses..two years in each. Then I went to St. Cloud state...two years. Onto Mankato state...made it three years, whoo! But I always kinda had this thing..two years and then I'm off to try something else.

So the fact that I stayed in Chicago for five is pretty cool. But alas no more..gotta move on and try something else.

Ya see, three years ago I met this boy and fell in love. We moved in together, got a dog, and have been happy as two farts under a blanket ever since.

But lately we've both been getting this itch. Not doing much here, stuck in a rut with jobs we don't like a whole lot, ready to start an adult type life. So Ty went and applied for a provisional teaching position for a class of five autistic children and that principal saw what I've always seen in him and offered him the job......and you guessed it. It's in Maryland.

I've always felt this urge to go east...not to New York, but to some city by the sea, where I can sit on a dock with my dog and a cup o' tea. So...without a job, farther from my own family, and not a whole lot of cash(come on Vegas, be good to mama!) I am off to be with my man and start a new exciting adventure...with him....with myself.

..............And I can't wait to see what happens!

Archive 6-27-2006

I'm glad I never got a pug.*

*Disclaimer. I love all puppies...and they are all puppies, german shepards, rottweilers, saint bernards...I love them all and they are all adorable...but mine is the best.

As many of you are now aware, I recently got me a dog. Correction. My boyfriend Ty got me(us) a dog. Ask my parents and they will tell you, that is the best present I have ever gotten. From the time I was born, besides the one summer I was obsessed with ponies, I have begged for a puppy. Our family tried a couple of times. When I was very young we had a great dog named Rex. He was a cocker spaniel. When I was about 8ish, Rex got hit by a car and had to wear a cast on his back left leg.....which of course bonded us for the rest of his short life. (For those of you not in the know, I wear a brace on my left leg, which I have worn the majority of my life.) Very soon after, Rex was in so much pain he had to be put down. It took me awhile to forgive my parents and to this day, whenever I drive past the hospital where he was last seen, I say "That's where they killed my dog". Dramatic, yes, but if you have a know.

A few years later, friends of my parents offered us a pup they could not keep, they gave in after much whining from me...and you can bet your sweet bippy I know how to whine! Her name was Foxy Lady, she looked like a little black fox with no tail (a Schiperkee). Foxy picked me right away and we were inseperable. When anyone else would walk into the house she barked like she was the size of a grizzly bear....even though she was only slightly bigger than most chihuahuas. We often called her "psycho puppy" because she could hardly contain her excitement around us....unfortunately she also couldn't contain her bladder. Foxy was not housetrained and was not able to be. My parent gave her away to a farm, I believe, where she could run and pee freely.

Many years past. All of them I still yearned for a pup of my very own. "Mom, I promise I will walk it." "Dad, you would never have to clean up after it, I swear!" It never worked. I had to move all the way to Chicago, through 3 different apartments and countless unworthy boys to find one who would grant me my dream....a puppy.

February, 2006. Close up: me, daydreaming at the computer, again. I click on this new website called craigslist. Anything you need....apts, jobs, sex with no can find it on this site. My mouse lingers and finally clicks on it: PETS. I would often go to this site and see if there was anything right for us and our one bedroom apartment. There was always a mini pinscher here, a pug there but nothing that fit.

All of a sudden there it is...."Chihuahua mix...needs good for picture". I know I shouldn't, Ty and I haven't really discussed it in a while...but...I ....just .....can't .....myself. I email, explain that we are a loving couple living near Wrigley Field, very interested in getting a dog. Within minutes I hear it...."You've got mail"....and my life is forever changed.

I call Ty into the room. With little or no whining, I am on the phone with a woman who will bring me my dog within the week.

Tootsie is scruffy, lovable and sleeps at the end of our bed. I am protective mommy while Ty runs with her to help her tree another squirrel.

We have now had her for 4 1/2 months and I can't remember life without her. Very recently we had a minor emergency where I had to face that possibilty for the first...and I assume not the last...time. My little baby got a bacterial infection and was a shadow of her lively, wonderful, heart-melting self for two days. I am happy to say that after an overnight stint in the hospital, and our first taste of how expensive your best friend can actually be, Toots is back to being my lively little sweetheart....I missed her.

She is the best present I've ever recieved. As my sister in law said, she will be my baby until I have one. I can truly say, without a whole lot of cliche added, she has very much enriched our lives.

I would like to add one more thing to this post. One of my dearest friends is going through a really rough time with her own best friend right now. I have only had Toots for a fraction of the time Denise has had Reece but I can only imagine. They moved all over the country together. Went through numerous successes and failures and finally settled into a home...all the while right by each others side. They are family and I offer all of my love and support as I now understand that bond better that ever.

In conclusion, as I said at the beginning, I love all dogs. They truly add to one's life. Depsite the 6am walks, the occasional poop on the kitchen floor, and that one embarassing day when Tootsie barked at a little boy and made him cry, I couldn't imagine a better dog. That's why I'm glad I never got a pug

Archive 4-20-2006

Tick, tock

A couple of things happened in the last twenty four hours that somehow make me think that I might actually turn out to be a pretty good mom someday.

Yesterday a girlfriend called for a play date for our dogs. We let the two of them roll in the grass together and eventually decided to head to an outdoor cafe for brunch.

We sat at the table, sipping bloody marys and minding our doggies when I realized mine must be a little thirsty. I grabbed a plastic cup from the table, filled it with ice water and set it down for her to drink. I have tried this once before without success so when she daintily started lapping up the h2o not spilling a drop, well I'll tell you, I got a little weepy and promptly told my dog how proud I was of her.....yes, people stared.

A little later, after dropping off the pups, we resumed our day at Target. I'll assume that most of you have been to Target so when I tell you that I went in planning on spending $30 tops, and walked out with $100 worth of stuff, I'm sure you'll understand.

First a stop at the dollar section of the store to see if there was any sort of toys for the arrival of my boyfriend's nephew this weekend. Eureka! A dinosaur match puzzle. He loves dinosaurs! Done.

Next a trip down the dog food aisle to replenish and there I see I am not kidding...a doggie umbrella. It's an umbrella, attached to a leash from below and above is one of those stiff, fold out sticks as to hold the umbrella taut as you walk your dog. I immediately put it in my cart. Not because it was so silly and I couldn't wait to see what Tootsie would look like with this contraption on, but because my dog actually hates the rain so much that it's almost impossible to get her to go out in it. And I can't tell you how frustrating it is at 11 o'clock at night trying to get your dog to take a dump, and she won't budge from the doorway. We finish checking off our lists and head for the check out. I get down to my last two items when I realize how much money I have spent. Something has got to go. It comes down to a $10 bright pink Go-Go's t shirt for me....or the doggie umbrella. Without even hesitating I put the doggie umbrella on the belt and part ways with my fabulous vintage style this point my girlfriend, who has known me for almost a decade gets weepy and promptly tells me how proud she is of me...the check out lady stared a little.

Last, but not least, our grocery store trip today. Ty and I never have food in the house. Never. Which requires us to go to the store at least a couple times a week....which is not a problem for me. Some women are obsessed with shoe shopping, for me it's the grocery store. I run in to grab 3 things. Garbage bags, lettuce, and something for my dinner. I've grabbed the lettuce and I'm rounding the corner to get the garbage bags and there is a stack of juice boxes on sale. Now, the nephew is only going to be here for about 3 days but I still couldn't resist. We don't have sippy cups in our apartment so what better for little Ben. This is a visit we've been looking forward to for a long time, and dammit, I will look like a prepared auntie! I placed the juice boxes in my basket and promptly told myself how proud of me I, nobody stared. I wasn't talking out loud, I'm not that much of a freak!

So there you have it folks, the clock certainly ticks every once and a while I will admit, but I'm not ready for a kid. Traveling, going out to local bars til all hours, and just generally trying to figure out my life (see "first ever blog") are the immediate priorities. But it's nice to have a little faith in myself that I can be a bit unselfish and think of the kiddies (and puppies) sometimes.

P.S. the whole time I've been typing this, there has been one of those "finish the task, get a free ringtone" advertisements atop the screen. The task in this one?....catch the kid.

Archive 4-18-2006

I am officially a huge loser.

For the most part, Tuesday nights belong to me and my dog. My boy leaves for work relatively early in the afternoon and I have the entire evening to myself...with the occasional walk around the block with the pup.

Not having a whole lot of money these days and being a slave to my doggie, I usually choose to stay in, and the majority of the time my evening goes a bit like this.......

3ish-The boy leaves, I wander around debating about my free time, usually end up surfing the web.

4ish-It's been a few hours since Toots went out so we go for a nice little mommy/puppy walk

5ish-Get home from walk and promptly go back to bed.

6ish-Decide where to order dinner from...just in case I've decided not to cook.......................................................................................................

....................................sorry, that was room for you to laugh about the whole cooking thing. I will almost always choose to order from my favorite chinese restaurant and 9 out of 10 times I will order the exact same thing. Kung Pao chicken and an eggroll for Ty when he gets home from work

7ish-11ish-This part of the night is usually filled with meaningless tv(american idol and whatever is on afterwards), a nice long shower, a book or magazine, and waking up to Tootsie barking when Ty gets home.

But lets step back to 6 o'clock. I found this particular chinese restaurant quite a while ago and it quickly became my favorite due to the big, non gamey chunks of chicken...that and when I do decide to order something different, they never fail me. There was a time this past winter where I ordered from this place a lot more than I would like to admit. It was my go to food, I'm talking 2 to 3 times a week. Needless to say the regular delivery guy got to recognize my face.

He's about 17-21 years old (I'm being generous when I guess 21.....he's a youngin') very sweet, very polite young man. Since most of the time when I get to actually have dinner with my boyfriend, he lovingly cooks for me, I am usually home alone when the delivery boy comes. A few months ago....the unthinkable I opened the door, money in one hand, keeping Toots at bay with the other....I hear it....."Hey sweetie? How ya been?" No, it is not my own sweetie saying this to me, but 17 yr. old delivery boy, you know, because he knows me so well.

Now this is not necessarily a tragedy. He is just being nice and what's wrong with a friendly face from your favorite chinese delivery place.

I'll tell what's wrong with it. People order in food because they are too lazy to get off their butts and go to the store to purchase fresh, healthy, yummy ingredients to make the food their own damn selves, just like me! And when you do this a lot, once, twice, three times a don't want someone pointing out the fact that you order from them SO much that they are now allowed to call you "sweetie"!

And let me tell you, it has only gotten worse. I stopped ordering for awhile in the hopes that he would forget my face altogether or graduate, go off to college and they would be forced to hire another delivery that is not aware of my seemingly lonely, hermit-like, big fat loser Tuesday night ritual. But no. He's still there and's "Hey sweetie, missed you, where ya been?"

I guess I could just stop ordering chinese food. Go to the store. Cook for myself...................................................................................................... room again to laugh.

It's not so bad I guess, he usually hooks me up with extra fortune cookies and hot mustard.

Archive 4-16-2006

First blog ever!

I apologize right now.

This is my very first blog ever and it's going to be very negative (and maybe a bit juicy for those of you interested).

I never did understand blogs....putting your "diary" out there for the whole of cyberspace to judge....I mean, I didn't want anyone reading my pink, felt diary with the lock on it when I was 12, why would I want anyone to be privy to those private thoughts now?

And then the last four days happened and now I get it. Blogs are for those people who have so many feelings they just need to get out and let's face it, if we tried to write it all out shorthand we'd all have carpal here goes.....sorry diary but my angst now goes public in............. cyberspace.

You see, four days ago I lost my job. A job I was fiercely loyal to for 3 years of my life, even in the face of higher ups "letting go" of some of the best talent this city has seen, some of whom had been there almost a decade, with no warning and little more than a "don't let the door hit your ass..."

I'm not bitter...yet. More than that I am just "f"ing angry. Let me state first that in the three years I worked there I had to reaudition for my job about 5 yes there was a change of management but come on! You want to see what I do?...come to one of the FOUR shows I did a day!

This season I did in fact have to re-audition again and was called one week later to be told that they would not be hiring me back. The person who called to inform me of my loss of constant income was, what I considered a friend. A person that over the years I had grown to respect and care deeply about. Obviously that respect was not shared as this was also the person that pulled a group of us into his/her office after we had been caught mildly goofing off, and were told if we didn't start acting more professional he/she would "fire our asses". I'll let you find the hypocracy in the use of the word professional yourselves.

And speaking of hypocricy...and we'll throw some idiocy in there for good are a few more examples of things that happened at my former place of employment.

-A former employee was fired for swearing. The incident happened in a private, very casual meeting among peers...NO superiors were present and the expletive was not directed at anyone in particular. Three weeks later, in a rehearsal with about 20 new employees a superior dropped the "F" bomb every other sentence....(much to the shock of people who had been present for the above mentioned firing).....this was a superior! At a very important "welcome" meeting! Makes sense huh?

-A number of employees had the honor of being a part of one of the cities parades. There we were in our brand new costumed best...some of these costumes had never been worn before. Nobody arranged for transportation home! We all had to walk back to our place of employment, in costume, down the middle of the street, wiping our new costumes in bird poop. Brilliant.

-A few of us had been called into an office meeting (the same "fire your asses" meeting) to discuss our misbehavior. Now I will fully admit to the occasional leaving early, or not going out for one of the short outs. It wouldn't have been such a frustrating meeting if a few hours later a fellow employee (not in our group) hadn't laughed at us for getting in trouble and admitted that his/her group always got away with an extended lunch at the bar across the way, that's right, I said bar. Take from it what you will.

-A number of contracted employees were let go very recently. Again with no warning and no chance to bid farewell to friends they had made over the years. Let me say that these people were among the mentioned "best talent in the city". Budgets get cut, ideas change, I get it. The company then admitted to tripling it's employees for the summer...again, makes perfect sense.

-Our group had been told that we were no longer allowed to give each other notes for fear of someone's fragile ego being crushed. We were now to report any and all notes to a superior who would then gives them all out. Again, this would be no problem if any of the superiors had any knowledge whatsoever about the basic premise of what we did....none of them were too musically inclined, let's just say. Not at all their faults. Some of them really knew what they were doing in other areas...just not ours.

I realize I have been very long winded. I'm a little crabby about the whole thing. When I started this job it was an honor to be a part of it. We sang challenging, beautifully arranged (no offense to the current arranger, she's amazing!) musical, music. Over time they have hired admitted non singers and changed the idea from all ages amazing to bad kiddie crap. I will miss some of the employees. I will miss singing for my day job. I will miss most of all the families who have recognized me over the years and made it a point to speak to my superiors about a good way. I had many good times at this particular place of employment and many bad...and really maybe it was just time to move on.

I mean I was told that my behavior came into play when they decided not to rehire me and maybe they were right.....coming to work noticibly high is completely inappropriate.

Oh wait, that wasn't me...that was a superior.

To those who stayed on I have this to say....don't let it become just a paycheck. Love what you do or don't do it. And remember corporate is corporate they couldn't give a shit about you. (Don't tell anyone I said that....I might get fired.)