Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Ugh! I am the biggest slackstar ever! I really for really real meant to have a post all ready to go when Button turned 5 months and of course life got in the way. Work, laundry, dinner, nursing, laundry, lunch, dishes...they all got in the way, sorry. So how did my lovely Evie Sue spend her special day? At tech rehearsal with Mommy (gotta get her started early right?) for Fiddler on the Roof...I'm hoping for a L'Chaim as a first word! I had a whole post about inadvertently becoming a stay at home mom but I must have been having a frustrating day because it came out a little negative. Yep, staying at home can be frustrating, mind numbing at times and a tad bit lonely here and there. But I wouldn't change it for the world. I get to hang with the coolest, happiest baby ever and I don't miss a thing. I also had a post about the differences in parenting styles/fair share of household duties that I have experienced so far but frankly, we are relatively on the same page about most things, she doesn't really need much discipline yet and when Ty is able to be home and not work from 8am to Midnight, my focus is for him to just "be" with Evie Sue. Of course when his job situation changes there will be some words. So what to write about. Button is going through some really awesome changes right now. She is rolling, reaching, chatting, sitting up and I think, getting ready to eat solids! I had been given the ok to move to cereal by my pediatrician but I was the one who wasn't ready. I am definitely nervous about this next step. Pretty soon she'll be sitting up in her highchair tossing cheerios to the dog and spaghetti at me! Plus I am torn between the crunchy granola side of me which thinks "What's the nutritional value of cereal, why can't I start with bananas, avocados, or baby oatmeal?"(all of which would be watered down to a porridge-y goo with breastmilk) and my other side which thinks "I had cereal, babies have had cereal for decades, it's easy, relatively inexpensive and my pediatrician suggested it"...ugh. Making life decisions for a life that you created and are responsible for and want to nurture and teach good habits and lessons to early is exhausting! I have tried to eat well in my adult life....now yes, in college my roommates will testify to the fact that I existed on real coke and fake mashed potatoes but as I started learning how to cook and put flavors together I made better choices. Getting pregnant just made me try harder. Now I try and make sure I get what I need for Evie Sue. Protein, veggies, fruit. I make all fruit smoothies, salads and lots of sauteed veggies to go with chicken and baked potatoes. Greek yogurt is a fave, oatmeal happens almost daily and if I have some time I try and make my own granola bars. But those damn sweets get me! I NEVER had a major sweet tooth before I got pregnant but now it won't go away. Really. It's sort of pissing me off as there are days I feel as if I am on a slow boat to type 2 diabetes. I try and make "good" sweet decisions like dark chocolate and fruit but man, sometimes a cupcake or a candy bar really hits the spot. As I move forward with this adventure of introducing my baby girl to veggies, fruits, whole grains and all that good stuff I will try not to sneak a Snickers in there...at least not for her. I will try my best to teach her good eating habits while being realistic about my budget and the taste buds of a small child. I will hope for an adventurous eater that will at least try everything we put in front of her. I can't wait to see her face each time we give her something new. Oh the fun we're gonna have!
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Here it is. My first Mother's Day. Now yes, I was technically pregnant for Mother's Day last year but to me, this year's the real deal. So here it is just a few days away and I am not sure how I feel about it. I have a lot of emotions this year. Here's the lowdown. I. Am. A. Mother. Holy shit. I am far away from my own mom. My husband, while celebrating the mother of his child (me), he is still, and will forever be grieving the loss of his own mother. You see my emotional situation. I am overwhelmed every single day with love for my daughter. She is so smiley, giggly and just plain wonderful. It makes my world when I go into her room in the morning or after a nap and she sees me and smiles. When I sing her to sleep I take a moment to just hold her because just for a second I feel as if I NEVER want to put her down. They don't lie when they say being a parent is the hardest and most rewarding thing you will ever do. She's only 4 1/2 months and I feel this all the time. I could go on and on. As for my mom. I miss her every day, especially now. She was here for Evie Sue's birth and helped me more than she will ever know. She has always been an incredible, supportive, loving Mom and I know she will be an even more amazing Grandma! But I want to share all my joys and tears of motherhood with her. Of course sometimes I do just that, the poor woman gets daily phone calls from me! I want her to babysit! Yes, we Skype and that is great. But fuck it all...it kills me that my mom can't hug my daughter every day! Evie Sue is named in honor of my mother in law. I've said it many times, I got really lucky when it comes to "in laws". I could go on forever but I will just say this; Sue was an amazing woman and I am devastated that my daughter will never know her. I guess I will just have to tell Evie Sue about her all the time. As the day approaches, I am clearly a hot mess of emotions. I look forward to spending the day with my sweet girl but I know I will be thinking of the Moms in my life who can't be there. While I look forward to Mother's Days of the future with toddler drawn pictures on the fridge or my daughter waking me up with breakfast in bed, this year will be a bit more subdued. I will spend the day with my tiny, sweet girl changing diaper after diaper, snuggling, playing and finding things to do around the apartment while she naps. This Mother's Day will be pretty much like any other day these days. Because these days...I am a Mother.