Friday, December 23, 2011

There's an opening in the C-section.

*Disclaimer: If you are one of my friends who is about to have a baby, stop reading. While I am not about to tell a "horror" story necessarily, I know that I did not want to hear labor room tales before I went in.
So...I had a baby. She's incredible. She has my nose. She did not come into this world exactly as I had planned...hehehe welcome to a world with kids, right?
My due date was December 10th which came and went a little too quickly. We spent the day doing brunch, watching a soccer game and generally trying to keep our minds off the fact that the little one had not yet arrived.
My mother arrived on the 11th and on the 12th the docs scheduled my induction for the 16th.
Mom and I and spent the week finishing the nursery and spending quality time anxiously waiting.
Fast forward to around 8 pm on the 15th of December. Let me just say this. Yes, you know when those little aches and pains turn into actual, for real labor contractions. And yes, they suck, they really, really suck. Apparently my baby just needed to mess with us until the last second and then make her way here on her terms.
We finally made our way to the hospital around 4 am. Thankfully I was dilated enough to be admitted and the blissful, epidural filled waiting began.
Hours passed and still no baby. I guess she had a little stage fright. They decided to "induce". They laid me on my side and started adding small doses of pitocin to help speed things along. Unfortunately the only thing that happened was my baby's heart rate kept dropping. Finally my doctor, we'll call him Mr. Personality (he did fine but his bedside manner sucked!) came in and decided, along with my amazing nurses, that we should move ahead with a c-section.
Now I never knew what the big deal with c-sections was and why people tried so hard to avoid them. Finally someone said to me "It's major surgery, Sara!" have we met? I've had at least 10 major surgeries in my life, all under general anesthesia.
This did not matter so much once they started getting me ready. It was such a speedy process that you would think I wouldn't have had time to be absolutely terrified. You'd be wrong. My whole body started shaking, I was crying, in general I was a mess.
No matter, we moved forward into the operating room and after what seemed like only a few moments of pushing, pulling and tugging, my little girl came wailing into the world.
Where was my husband through all of this? Holding my shaking hands, petting my head, coaching me through the whole thing.
They checked her out (9.9 on the Apgar!), Ty got to cut the remainder of the cord and my little girl was placed in my arms.
All in all the hospital stay was short and uneventful (except of course that whole giving birth thing). We got home on Monday night and the real fun began.
This first week at home has been a challenge to say the least with the lack of sleep and breastfeeding alone. Not to mention the recovery. My body is exhausted and I have to constantly remind myself to take it easy. My mom was here for the first 10 days of Evie Sue's life and I couldn't be more grateful. We took her to the airport tonight and I am a little devastated.
But I have an amazing partner by my side who is currently burping our little Button while I eat a slice of pizza and have my one glass of red. Evie Sue is gorgeous and lovely and amazing and I can't believe I helped make her...much less get to hang out with her.
Christmas is always special but this year it's obvious why it will be in our top Christmas' ever. Frankly, it wasn't terribly present filled and we didn't do anything outlandish.
But my husband and I made a tiny little present that came just in time for the holiday and we will celebrate her for the rest of our lives.
I know there will be even harder challenges that we will face but I know we can do it. We have amazing friends and family and each other.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Two Week Notice

I really had some high hopes(and expectations)for the end of this here journey. You know, I thought, I've been pretty active this entire pregnancy and pretty damn comfy, I'll feel that way until labor right? Not to mention the fact that I am in complete denial that I actually have to give birth and am still convinced I will wake up in two weeks with a flat tummy and a cute baby!
Cause that's when I am due folks...TWO FRICKIN WEEKS!
Now, I realize that this is a guesstimate and I could certainly go earlier or later but still...
And yes, I am really starting to get uncomfortable. My pelvic muscles are killing me, I am officially a waddler and I am pretty sure I am having false labor as I type.
Don't get me wrong. I am still doing pretty well considering. Considering I am due to squeeze a child out of my hoo-hah exactly 2 weeks from today!
But seriously, I only gained about 20 pounds so I really just started having any sort of back pain and I am still working and walking the dog dammit!
That said, if I am on my feet for too long I am stuck in my recliner for the rest of the night. That whole shifting in the middle of the night from side to side? Only gotten worse. And man, Baby is getting big! She can simultaneously kick me in the ribs and punch me in the cervix...and that can suck, let me tell you!
So I will rest, as I don't have much time left to do that. I will relish my alone time and I will tell my husband how much I love him as much as I can.
Here we go kids...hopefully the next time I post it will be a picture of my gorgeous little girl!

Monday, November 7, 2011

5 weeks to go...maybe...

I say maybe because we have no idea when Baby Girl Cobb will decide to make her grand entrance into the world. She might feel cramped (I do) and decide she wants out early. Or maybe she is perfectly happy where she is (she seems like it) and will be fashionably late. Either way, we cannot wait!
Does that mean we are completely and totally ready?...HA!
Here's the thing. She will be in our room for a little bit so I was not too terribly concerned with the nursery, until last night.
We woke up Sunday morning after a wonderful day in the Capitol Hill neighborhood of D.C. We ate burgers, walked through the food building and outdoor flea and farmers markets that are part of the famed Eastern Market, stopped in a used bookstore (one of Ty's favorite things to do) and sat in an Irish bar so my amazing hubby could have a couple of beers. We finished our lovely day with a fire, movie and pizza in the comfort of our apartment.
So again, here we are on Sunday. I decided to try and relax for a few minutes in the morning before running errands and sending Ty off to work. I took a short nap and then decided that I needed to rearrange the bookshelves in the nursery, ya know, baby steps. 3 hours later I was on a roll, a mission, nesting had taken over. Really! There was nothing I could do. I was compelled to finish whatever it was I was doing. The problem? I needed the computer desk along with the old computer out of there. The other problem? Not only should I not lift any of that at 8 months preggers, I literally couldn't!
So there I sat with nesting blue balls. I just stood there for what seems like an hour, staring. I needed to get this done. Everything in my body NEEDED to get this done. And I couldn't...without help.
I finally gave up. I made some cinnamon toast and hot apple cider, grabbed one of my baby girl's blankets and cuddled up to watch some t.v.
At 10:30 when Ty got home from work what do you think he did? Well he has been amazing through this whole pregnancy so I knew I could count on him. Sure enough he moved all the heavy stuff out of the nursery for me and this morning I woke up bright and early to continue my mission.
It's not done, it's not perfect but I am happy with the progress and not as concerned as I was last night. Again, she's gonna hang with us for a few weeks at least in her sweet little bassinet and then we will start moving her into her own little room.
AND back to our Saturday...mommy and daddy got to have a wonderful day out doing stuff we love to do!
Whether we are ready or not she is on her way.
I think we're ready!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Let's talk about this thing called the 3rd trimester.

Now, as I have said many, many times before, I have gotten very lucky in this pregnancy. First trimester was peppered with general nausea, one bout of morning sickness, sore boobies and mild exhaustion. Besides some cramping and major heartburn, the second trimester has been good to me. Lots of energy, little weight gain and good feelings and vibes all around as I feel my baby dancing up a storm in there.
Well, as I sit a hop, skip and a Braxton Hicks contraction away from 32 weeks, I can tell you that the 3rd trimester is not showing itself as terribly fun.
I. Am. Tired.
I. Am. Big.
Still. Not. Ready.
I can actually feel my belly stretching and growing as my little girl gets bigger and bigger. I have had a number of those Braxton Hicks contractions, which don't hurt but they are weird. Apparently they are practice for delivery, well, I have 8 1/2 weeks left so slow it down!
As my belly gets larger there is less and less room for those other less important organs like my lungs and stomach. Eating a large meal has become difficult and working 2 jobs that require me to be on my feet and speak loudly can be a challenge.
One other thing that I am being prepared for? Lack of sleep. I get up every few hours to pee and do you know how easy it is to change sides of your body while 7 months pregnant? Not at all. You can't just flip over, oh no. You see, there is this growth, this miraculous, soon to be adorable bundle of joy, growth that is attached to you. So you need to take a moment, flip onto you back, try and take a deep breath (good luck) and finish shifting to the other side all the while feeling a bit like a beached whale. Then once you get settle and comfy with all your pillows you'll realize you have to pee, again.
All of that said, I am pumped. She has clearly gotten bigger as proven the night Ty and I were up late watching movies and all of a sudden it looked as if there was a snake moving under my skin across my belly. I have no idea what body part it was but it was awesome!
Our nursery is slowly but surely coming together (and by coming together I mean we are getting the clutter out!) and for the most part I am still feeling pretty good. I get tired, I feel huge, I feel scared as I realize we are into single digits left these days. But I am also trying to positively prepare for what is about to happen, I'm gonna be a mom! And Ty and I are doing everything we can to support each other as we cross paths during our daily opposite schedules-I made him some yummy cookies the other day and he showed up after work one night with gorgeous yellow roses for no reason at all!
So with about 8 weeks left (oh crap) I move forward with the most positive, excited, happy outlook I can...while still a little bit scared to death!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

I'm having a really, a baby!

It occurred to me the other day that I'm having a baby.
I mean, I get it. She's in there. Moving around, having dance parties at 11pm, stretching my tummy out and making me really cranky if I haven't eaten in a few hours.
But really...a baby!
I was sitting and doing the math again the other day as I have my doc appt tomorrow and I thought to myself...
"Holy F*@$&! We have 3 months to go!"
Three months people! That is not a long time...AT ALL.
I have fully embraced pregnancy. You kind of have to. I appreciate my growing belly (for the most part) and as I have said before I got really lucky. It (pregnancy) seems to suit me. Not that I am planning to do this again terribly soon, I'm just sayin'.
But all of a sudden as I am mere moments from my third trimester, things are changing. I am getting more and more uncomfortable, sleeping less, heartburn is killing me, I suspect that my feet may swell soon and I have discovered one baby stripe (I will not say stretch mark) right across the middle of my upper belly.
I have also started to think about what is to come after Dec. 10th (my supposed due date). I won't be working right away, my hubby will be working all the time, and I will be left alone with this little person who will be relying on me for pressure.
I'm a little scared. Scratch that, I'm a lot scared! I know I have an incredible support system and plenty of people waiting in the wings to jump out and babysit, visit, cook dinner, or just hold her while I nap.
But still...
I'M the one who has to give birth. I'M the one who has to figure out breastfeeding. There will be days when it is just her and I, trying to figure each other out, for hours on end.
Don't get me wrong. I am very much looking forward to my alone time with my little girl but let's be's probably gonna get old for a bit before she starts reacting and developing her personality.
So here I sit. Scared, excited, fat(in a good, purposeful way...but fat), scared, emotional, thrilled, oh and scared.
I can't wait to meet her and start this whole new chapter.
But I also kind of dig things the way they are...before the whole childbirth thing happens.
I have so many plans for our family.
But I feel completely unprepared for her arrival.
I'm so excited to carry her and hug her and help her take her first steps.
But I think I will miss feeling her inside of me.

It is a massive bag of mixed emotions as we move closer to the end of the first leg of this incredible journey.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Maternity clothing. Necessary evil? Or big, fat(hehe) waste of money?

That is my question today folks. I know my vote.
Big, fat (pun absolutely intended) waste of money.
Does this mean I will not purchase maternity clothes? That I believe myself to be as big as I will get during this pregnancy? That I will miraculously return to my former figure immediately after giving birth? That I will choose to not have more children, rendering my purchased maternity clothing useless after 6 months-ish of wear?
I just don't feel the need to rush out and buy a bunch of expensive clothing that I may or may not use again. I will admit that I have gotten lucky in the timing of all of this. The majority of my pregnancy has been spent in the summertime which means flowy dresses and tank tops. I also have a job that requires me to wear comfortable, stretchy clothing. I have purchased a couple of pairs of leggings for $5 a pop at Target to try and get me through the fall, as well as a "tummy sleeve".
I also got lucky in the sense that I lost some weight right before I found out I was pregnant and at 6 months I finally have my beloved baby bump.
Yes, I am aware that I will get bigger, much bigger as my little sea monkey continues to grow and yes, my pants in general are having a really hard time closing, if at all, these days. But dammit, I will hold out. I will wear my leggings and sweaters, dresses and tights, stretchy pants and tummy sleeve as long as I can!
Unless of course I find a really cute, button down, belted maternity top in a fabulous fall color. Then all bets are off.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Pregnancy is going well....thanks!

It is a gross and rainy day here in MD. Ty has a meeting for most of the afternoon and I will probably spend most of the day cleaning and cooking(I am planning spaghetti squash with eggplant and an arugula caprese salad..mmm...)
Anyways. I've been thinking a lot lately about all the things I am SO excited to do with our baby girl. So, with that in mind, here is a list of things that I cannot wait to do with my daughter in the next few years.
Renaissance Festival-I love the RenFest! I don't dress up (but I also don't mind the people who choose to). I love everything about it. I love the music, the performances, being outdoors, the food, the atmosphere. We look forward to it every year. This year I will be nice and preggo for it (mmmm the food) but next year Baby Girl Cobb will be just the right age to start hanging with us! I can picture her strapped to Ty with one of our carriers, Ty holding a beer or a turkey leg and Baby Girl getting her first taste of ice cream! Yay!
D.C. Museums- I have only been to D.C. twice since moving so close. Once for a lovely night out with a friend in Georgetown and then for the weekend for a cancer walk in memory of my mother in law. Both times we had other things happening and were not able to hit up the museums. I would like to do this with my kid. I may possibly wait until she is a little bit older but I most definitely want to do this.
Christmas-sy stuff- I can't wait to take her to see trees and lights and maybe even Santa. She's going to be a little too young this year but in the next couple of years this will be fun!
Chicago- This needs to be soon...only because I can't imagine not pushing a stroller around our old neighborhood. Show her all the places we love there and show her where mommy and daddy met.
Grandma and Grandpa's Pool- My folks have a pool back in Mn and I cannot wait til she's old enough and I can take her there to swim and hang with the fam!
Family Reunions- I can't wait to show her off! My family never did "reunions" while I was growing up because we were always around each other anyway but Ty's family has them every year practically. Next summer we'll be heading to Vermont for one that I'm so excited about.
Just going out and about- I have always vowed to be the kind of parent who shared experiences with my child, not let my child keep me from the experiences. I can't wait to walk around downtown Annapolis, hit up the shrimp feast/oyster roast in North Beach, road trip down to Asheville (so Mommy can go to the breweries this time!), playdates (hint, hint, Karice, Tiffany, Janelle), shopping, wine tasting (I said it!), the Minnesota State Fair, whatever!
Obviously there are a lot of things I can list here. Those are just a few off the top of my head. I get so excited when I think about all the things I get to do with her and how lucky we are!

Monday, August 8, 2011

Part 6-Maybe we should start saying the homestretch.

I had my 22 week appointment today. Last night I grabbed my calendar to do some math and yes, I am in fact, entering my 6th month. Holy shit!
Appointment went well. Last time I saw this very sweet, very green physician's assistant who had nothing but concern for everything! She was very kind but she was concerned about my weight, my bowels, what I eat, what I drink and when I travel. It was a little much.
Today I saw my first male dr. I dug him. He was laid back and addressed all my concerns pretty thoroughly. We got to hear Baby Girl again, I found out where my uterus is now located (it's everywhere!) and he debunked a couple of minor concerns I had which helped me relax and enjoy my coffee (among other things).
So all is well. Baby Girl Cobb is growing as she should and even while running the Doppler over my belly to hear her heart, the doc mentioned what a mover and shaker she is! At this point there is no concern over MY weight since she is growing just fine and next time around I get to go in for my glucose test...yay!
Speaking of food....hehehe...I thought I would chat about some of the food that I have learned to love/become obsessed with/can't get enough of while I grow this child inside of me.
Obviously I try and eat as healthy as possible while taking in the right amount of calories.
Actually, that's a lie(not the healthy part). I haven't paid attention to calorie intake at all. I eat when I am hungry, stop when I am full and make sure to get snacks in every few hours.
But I have noticed that I have a bit more of a sweet tooth than normal.
Here are some of the ways I absolutely succumb to my sweet tooth.
+Blueberry waffles-I have always loved them and even more so now!
+Ice cream-Yep, as cliche as it sounds I do love me a nice bowl of the cold stuff at the end of the day. Chocolaty, fruity, whatever, doesn't matter.
+This one I got from a friend-Take one of those small pre-made graham cracker crusts, fill it with fruit, whipped cream and hot fudge to top it off. Mmmmm. Hey, there's fruit!
+And my fave. I buy cheap packages of medium size, soft chocolate chip cookies ($1 for 8!) and heat them for 20 seconds in the microwave. They come out all gooey and warm. I eat one with a huge glass of milk. Sometimes I top it with a little peanut butter. I never go a day without a milk and cookie break!
+Sweet potatoes-Nothing new there, they rock!
Other than that I try and eat spinach every day(I LOVE spinach, really!)and I drink water constantly.
But nothing else really stands out as being strange or abnormal.
I do miss rare steak, red wine and sushi. These are the biggies that I have avoided for the most part during this time. I have avoided others but they're not worth mentioning.
I know it will all be worth it though when our little girly gets here so I will suck it up with my water, overdone steak and cookies!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Part 5-Yep! Still pregnant.

As discussed a few times in this blog, I was born with a congenital bone disease called Fibrous Dysplaysia.
Long story short, my left tibia did not grow as fast as the rest of me and was left smaller and weaker. I broke my ankle twice and had numerous operations to try and "fix" my leg. The only one that worked was done when I was 13 years old. I had my leg lengthened (got 3 1/2 inches!) and through that process my ankle was able to heal, I was able to walk better and I continue to thrive as a walker/dancer/all around grown woman with a brace.
Needless to say, whenever I fill out a "medical history" form I give the short version and if the doc has any other questions, so be it.
So, that time that I got pregnant, obviously the doc had some questions although not as many as I thought considering that my tibia isn't terribly close to my uterus.
Now. I have ALWAYS known that this "disease" is not genetic. It is a fluke, one in a million shot and I got lucky.
Yeah, yeah, yeah I am me, not my leg and everything I went through made me the strong person I am today blah, blah, blah. Hey, I've worn a brace on my leg since I was 6 years old. I basically learned to walk on crutches. I've never really known any different so I don't worry too much about it. So there.
ANYHOO. As I was leaving the doctor after my first visit to establish that there was in fact a little bun in my oven, I was still high on the sounds of heartbeat when the doc stopped me. "I think you should see the high risk doctor for your 20 wk ultrasound."
This can stress a woman out for many reasons. What is wrong with me that I need to see the high risk guy? What is wrong with my baby? Does this mean I can't have preggo sex? Does this mean you think I am over 35??!?!?!!
Of course it all came down to the leg. I explained to her that it is not genetic but if my insurance covered it, whatever.
Fast forward to the ultrasound. We see all the stuff we're supposed to, they write down the sex of our unborn child and put it in an envelope as we requested and send the big doc in to chat about all the stuff they saw and we didn't understand. According to him, everything looks great, no need for concern anywhere and hey, what's this thing about your leg?
I go through the whole story explaining, in a nutshell, my life ages 3-14. He listens some what distractedly while running the transducer over my belly. "So here is an arm," he shows us. "And here is the left leg, and this right here is the left tibia."
I have seen x-rays of my left tibia so many times in my life that I could easily pick mine out of a line up of hundreds. I am am also aware of what a weak bone looks like on an x-ray. I am also aware of the fact that my baby's bones are not completely formed or hardened yet.
But that left tibia was so straight and bright white that I got a little misty in the office that day.
Yes, I knew that there was a slim to none chance that she would have this disease and frankly, mine wasn't discovered or diagnosed until I was 3 years old and walking. But something about that lovely doctor going out of his way to find her left tibia and show it to me made my heart swell.
Now if only I could try and guarantee a massively high i.q. and a love of showtunes, I'd be set!

Monday, July 25, 2011

Part 4-We need a new title, huh?

So when you get yourself knocked up, with the help of some wonderful man, you want to get every book you see on the matter! Now, I have always been a reader. And I have always been a fan of the library. I would like to feed my child someday so I thought instead of buying every book I could that I would A. hit up my pals who recently had kids and B. go to the library, then if I really liked the book I could go out and buy it.
Here are some of the books that I have read/perused/live my newly pregnant life by:
What To Expect While Your Expecting-This NEVER leaves my bedside.
The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy-Smeh, it was alright but she is very opinionated and the only person I want having opinions about my pregnancy is me.
Belly Laughs-Jenny McCarthy. She's hot. She's funny. It was amusing but a writer she is not.

Now, every one of these books will list for you all of the crazy ass things that will happen to your body, face and mind throughout this process and they always like to preface that some may or may not happen to you personally. I would now like to talk about some of those crazy ass things and how they have affected me.
Trimester One: Nausea, exhaustion and the sorest boobs in America...seriously, my husband couldn't even look at them! That's what I had. Some women get super nasal ability which can either help them detect drugs in a crowded bus station or just make them want to puke all the time. I really wanted this super power, it sounded fun.
Trimester Two: Here's where the fun started for me. Yes I got more energy and my boobs stopped hurting but I also got tummy cramps, crazy hungry, itchy belly, tummy cramps and I now pee whenever I sneeze. I also have a pretty short torso so all my innards are shoved up near my esophagus which makes it relatively uncomfortable to cough.
And yes, I pee ALL THE TIME.
My prenatal vitamins have made my fingernails amazing but really haven't done a whole lot for my hair yet. And P.S. they're gummy!
I have yet to have anything weird happen to my face but my veins, particularly in the area of the decollatage, look like something from a sci-fi movie!
Now for the mind. I am pretty much convinced that it has nothing to do with the obscene amount of hormones that are coursing through my body and more about the fact that I have SO MUCH SHIT TO THINK ABOUT! I am moody, forgetful, and all of a sudden very clumsy.
I'm gassy but of course, I always have been.
And now the saddest of all(besides the fact that my libido is nowhere near it's normal state but that is an entirely different blog), slowly but surely my belly button is disappearing. Yep, I have a feeling that I will in fact, "poke out".
I think I've covered quite enough and I know I will have more to add once we move into Trimester Three.
As for now I will finish with a picture of me at 20 weeks (actually showing a little bit). I plan to continue to document the belly as my little one (and I) grow.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Part 3-How is your pregnancy going? Are we sick of this yet?

So here we are. According to the docs calculations, today we are officially at 20 weeks, or halfway there, or "Holy crap we haven't done any of the shit we should have done. We need to get the nursery ready and find a place for all those goddamn books"!
I'm only half joking. This really is a special day and we spent it doing a couple of special pregnancy related things. I bought my first piece of maternity wear (a "tummy sleeve", to help me continue to wear my pre preg pants) and we decided to actually start documenting my belly as I am finally starting to show a little. What does this process entail? Well really it's about me trying to find an ok outfit, good lighting, the perfect pose and then still hating every shot while my husband stands ever patient with the camera phone.
And there's the point of today's blog. My husband. And his patience.
Now normally he doesn't have an amazing amount of it but as he stands by his hormonal, emotional, neurotic wife, he is a pillar of patience (for the most part). So here a list of some of the amazingly nice things my husband has done(and will continue to do?) for me as we continue on this journey.
1-He rubs my foot (my right foot, if you really know me you understand this). My wonderful husband has to be one of the worst foot rubbers...ever. He just doesn't have the patience and/or concentration. But since getting me pregnant he has really stepped up, pun intended. He goes above and beyond with lotions and such and does it without even having to be asked.
2-He finally tells me what I want to a point. I get it, I'm preggers, I'm gonna get big. And I WANT to. But there are days that you look in the mirror and see all the weird changes that are happening and you get upset. That's where the good man comes in. My baby tells me how beautiful I am and supports me no matter how many outfit changes I go through, I mean come on, it's not like he's not used to it!
3-Little telling me it's ok to stay in while he walks the dog. Finding me a walking stick since our neighborhood is full of hills and hills aren't fun right now AND if I happen to forget said walking stick he will put one hand on the small of my back and gently guide me up those hills. And going shopping with me, which he usually hates, to pick out our first little present for our baby girl.
He has been patient, caring, funny, supportive, honest and loving. All the things that are gonna make him a great dad.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Part 2-How is you pregnancy going-Ups and Downs

Every pregnancy is different so I'm told. Some people get terribly sick, I did not. Some people's boobs get huge, mine did not...yet(of course if you know me I figure the pregnancy gods are just being fair). And everyone has different ups and downs. Here are some of my downs:
-Exhaustion. I could fall asleep standing up at a rock concert during the first trimester! It was bad...really.
-Weird bodily changes. Everything inside you shifts....EVERYTHING. My ribs are in my throat, my abdominals are in my back, and I have a sneaking suspicion that I no longer have lungs or a diaphragm as half the time I can't breathe! I feel best in the morning. In fact, sometimes I wake up and wonder if she's still in there. By the end of the day I am bloated and the pressure in my uterus is unreal.
-Hormones. Emotions. Oh dear god. Gentlemen, if you think PMS sucks, just wait until you knock your girl up. Every diaper commercial makes me weep, the sound of my husband's voice goes from making me smile to making me want to punch him in the throat in mere moments and I can no longer hold in any of my true feelings. Whew! And yes, I complain almost daily of feeling husband likes to just remind me that I am pregnant. This does not help.
-Fears. I am scared. Of what? Oh I don't know, what is happening to my body, childbirth, the big words in all the pregnancy books that I don't understand, not being able to feed my child, dropping her, not being a good mom or raising her the best I can and having her still turn out to be an name a few.
Now here are the ups.
-First time we saw and heard baby. There are no words and nothing that can prepare you for this moment. It is incredible.
-An increasing sense of needing to take care of yourself. In recent years I have been a relatively healthy eater but the moment you realize that you are in charge of sending nutrients to a growing being inside of you, you want it to be the best. I eat as fresh as I can and beyond the occasional lemonade the only liquids that enter my body are water, half caff coffee, oj and milk.
-The amazing feeling that as you walk down the street there is no way physically that you can "suck it in", so you don't even try.
-Feeling her move. This is relatively new and it's pretty badass. I can feel her dipping and diving around in there, I'm only sad Ty can't feel it yet.
-Speaking of my husband. The moment you realize that you've created something so precious together you really do become a team. A team that argues over when we should start working on the nursery and where all the books should go so they won't fall on top of our child! But really, it's fun to have this "project" that is all yours and to feel that you two alone are working towards something incredible. It's been hard and emotional at times. But there are also the times when we just sit and dream together about all the things we're gonna show this little girl and that is the best!
-The excitement! I'm excited. 'Nuff said.

And my favorite "up" is one that I have just recently discovered. I am not showing a whole lot but I can definitely feel the large, roundness of my uterus inside of me. When I laugh, if it's a good one, I can feel it everywhere. I feel like Tim Allen in The Santa Clause...really! I literally feel as if I am shaking up a bowl of jelly! At first this weirded me out but then I started to think. If I could make any wish for my daughter it would be that she laughs... a lot. To me it's always been very important to laugh and have a sense of humor and if I can pass that along to my kidlet I will be a very happy mama. So when my husband/baby daddy makes me laugh, which is daily, and I feel as if I should be saying "Hohoho" I'd like to think that I am passing along the giggles. As my belly shakes up and down with glee I imagine
that my little girl can feel the joy and smiles and laughs that are ready to welcome her into the world!

So, how is your pregnancy going?

I realize that I haven't revealed to you, oh reader, a whole lot about this pregnancy(considering I just let it slip that I am in fact, knocked up!). So in honor of being halfway through...this Sunday is 20 weeks! is the start of my "Here Is How My Pregnancy Is Going" series.
Uuumm...yeah. So that first week of being preggers kinda sucked....only kind of though! Now keep in mind, I was roughly 5-6 weeks along, it was a bit of a surprise and we were about to go on a road trip to and through parts of North Carolina that are not exactly "flat" and my ass already gets
Long week short, I was only truly miserable for one day after a very large breakfast of pancakes and bacon (for the record, I have never really been a fan of pancakes and I suspect the baby was messing with me). We told the very minimum of people that we needed to at the time and I became my husband's favorite designated driver.
As we've moved forward I've begun to live my life in "weeks" with a copy of "What to Expect.." next to the bed at all times (thank you Janelle). I have not gotten sick since the unfortunate pancake incident and only really had mild nausea through my first trimester.
I also got lucky in another sense. Somehow I lost weight before I figured out that I was pregnant. Again, keep in mind, I do not own a scale and maybe weigh myself once every other month, maybe. So when I went into the Dr. and they weighed me I told them their scale was wrong! Anyhoo, I suspect it to be a combination of my job (pretty physical), not eating a whole lot on that N. Carolina trip and frankly, cutting out the booze....really, that was a shit load of empty calories that are no longer a part of my diet. One of my docs recently expressed concern over the fact that I have not gained any weight yet. I promised her that I eat and offered to send her a weekly menu which includes pizza, homemade milkshakes, and veggie stuffed sweet potatoes (my fave!). I am a tiny bit convinced that I am actually housing a tapeworm! I've added calories to my diet and I am not terribly concerned, besides my mom has assured me that it will catch up with me...thanks mom.
As I move forward in my second trimester there certainly have been ups and downs to the whole pregnancy experience but that is for another blog...maybe tomorrow!
Do I love being pregnant? I don't know. It's strange and familiar all at the same time. It's amazing how quickly your life, body and mind can adapt to such a huge change. I am getting more and more anxious to meet and hug this little person who is growing in me.
Next time I will write more about those ups and downs. For now, know that as I type I have been consuming a huge breakfast of a bagel topped with cream cheese, tomatoes and avocado and a bowl of fresh strawberries and bananas with cinnamon and am planning a lunch of a sweet potato stuffed with sauteed spinach and other veggies...suck it doc!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Oh the times...they are a-changin'

Let's review, shall we?
My last post, March 31st. I was going on and on about playing this dream role of the Baker's Wife in Into the Woods, a character who desperately wants a child and is doing everything she can to make that happen throughout the first act.
I should have taken that as my first warning.
Now let's talk about the AMAZING director of that show. Her name is Jenny and I love her. She has directed me in three shows and I would work with her again, in any capacity, in a heartbeat. But more importantly (for blog purposes) her shows have this "knack" for producing...well...knocked up women. Every show I have done with her SOMEONE has gotten pregnant during the rehearsals/run of the show. flag! Warning! Danger!
I should have walked away...I should have ran.
I should have known.
Fast forward to mid April. The show has closed and Ty and I are about to go on a roadtrip to Asheville N. Carolina for Spring Break. Do you know how many breweries are in/near Asheville?
But I digress...
I was not feeling well in all the suspicious ways so after a beer with coworkers I swing by Target and our lives change forever!
I was/am pregnant!
I cried...a lot. Not because I was unhappy but for crying out loud, it's a shocker! Especially if you are not even trying.
Now don't get me wrong, we know how it happened...and yes kids, it only takes once.
We continued with our out of town plans if only to be able to wrap our brains around this outside of our everyday lives and came back with an understanding of the changes we needed to make in our lives.
And the funny thing is that things just started happening.
Ty got an assistant teaching position at a school he had been interested in for years that just happens to be less than 20 minutes away (as opposed to his previous position where an hour and a half was a "good" commute).
We made decisions and changes. We were honest with each other about our fears and excitement.
So here we are. I've been pretty lucky all around. I feel great, I have a wonderful and supportive husband who is going to be the best dad! And despite all of the scary, unknown, stressful things that are to come, I couldn't be more excited about our sweet, beautiful daughter that continues to grow inside of me.
Oh yeah, it's a girl!

(At least they're 90% sure, so stay tuned...)

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Into The Woods Review

Ok, so here it is. The shameless, "I'm an actor playing a dream role", pretentious post.
I am in the middle of a production of Into the Woods at Red Branch Theatre. Into the Woods (by Stephen Sondheim and James Lapine) is the story of a Baker and his wife who desperately want a child but the witch next door has cursed them. To break the spell, they must travel into the woods in search of 4 items that are all too familiar in the storybook world....a white cow, a red cape, hair as yellow as corn and a slipper as pure as gold. To get these items they meet up with all too familiar characters as well but here is where things get interesting. This is where the stories take little twists from the originals. Cinderella's Prince while charming is not terribly sincere or loyal, and Little Red Riding Hood is not as sweet as we think. Once we get to the second act, we get to see what happens after happily ever after and the choices and repercussions of in life.
Anyhoo, this show is filled with incredible music and amazing roles, specifically for women. I have ALWAYS wanted to do this show. And I have always wanted to play either the Witch or the Baker's Wife.
I am currently playing one of my all time dream roles with an amazing cast, The Baker's Wife. The role is complex, scary, inspirational and just wonderful. It is a role that hits close to home sometimes and frankly, after playing it, I can now say, as cheesy as it sounds, that it is a role that I was meant to play.
NOW, I have friends who have played this role, and were incredible! I am not saying that I am better than anyone else. This is a role that becomes very personal to the actress. I am simply saying that it fits and I am proud and at the same time humbled that I get to do it.
The point of this post? The following review. I am so thrilled and surprised and excited that my (along with others) acting was noted and the fact that I "get" Sondheim. It is a huge compliment and I wanted to share it with you...oh blog reader.
So here is it...I know it's a bit self absorbed to put my review on my blog but hey, that's what it's for!

"In the show’s most complex and (not coincidentally) sympathetic roles, director Male casts three Red Branch veterans—Janelle Broderick, David Frankenberger, Jr., and Sara Cobb—and each gives a stellar performance. Broderick is a resourceful Cinderella as well as a lovely one, self-possessed and not at all sure she wants to marry a prince. In their scenes together as the unnamed baker and wife, Frankenberger and Cobb chart the whole course of a marriage, as support gives way to resentment, passion flirts with boredom, and the commonplace details of everyday living distract from the wonder of love.

Though the cast is filled with excellent singers, what sets these three apart is their ability to locate the many beats, large and small, in Sondheim’s score, to frame each thought as the melodic line carries it to them."

Read more:

Monday, February 14, 2011

Spring has sprung...well sort of. The last 2 days have been gorgeous and frankly, I can't go back. I had forgotten how to be warm! Last night while walking the dog, we needed nothing more than a fleece on!
This is the type of weather I hate, the in between. I am aware of how fickle mother nature can be and that quite possibly by tomorrow morning we could be covered in snow. But for today I am sitting in my living room with the sliding door open with a long sleeved tee on...and I can't go back. The dog is laying out on the porch! I need it to get no colder than 50 degrees from here on out.
Yes...I know it's February. But come on! Please! We have all been covered in snow and dirt and gray for far too long. We need a little sunshine...WARM sunshine. I need to sit on my porch again. I need to drive with the windows down again! I want to wear sandals!
That is all for now, Spring. But we will chat again.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Hey guys...I think we're getting old.

So...a lot of things lately have made me feel old. Not necessarily in a bad way...just older.
For example, yesterday a co worker of mine reminded me of the Challenger anniversary and explained how shocked she was when she watched footage because you see, she wasn't alive when it happened. I then, had to explain that I watched it too...the real thing, when it was happening...cause I was 9.
Aaaannnnd then there are my friends who are turning 30 and how it's such a big milestone and how they are not looking forward to it.
I get it. It is a milestone for sure!...that I passed...4 years ago.(dear god I'm almost 35!)
But really it's the daily things. It's driving home and listening to talk radio or classical music.
It's standing in the grocery store and putting prunes into my cart (not because I need them but because apparently they are good for you).
It's reading the backs of food items trying to calculate the saturated fat and the cholesterol.
It's being ok with a very quiet weekend at home with coffee and a good book.

I'm not saying that these things make you "old" or that we don't whoop it up...oh, we whoop! It's just little changes in habits that make me feel...what? Mature? Grown up? I don't know.
I have been saying that this is our year. 2011, baby! I will be more organized, more positive and I will make the things I want to happen happen!
But to do all those have to grow up a little. Which kinda sucks.
The fact that I am a mere 390 ish days away from my mid thirties is scary, not gonna lie. At this age you have to start talking about scary things and start making scary decisions not the least of which is how to get more fiber and less saturated fat in your diet!
I'm not at senior citizen status yet (although the discounts would be nice) but I am also not 22 anymore (thank god!).
I am stuck somewhere in between. And somewhere in between has car payments and prunes and Cheerios. But it also has incredible relationships, hard work (in that good way) and a bizarre feeling of understanding that I have a lot more to learn.