Sunday, March 6, 2016

Peek A Poo

Yes, you read that right. Poo. Peek A Poo. It's a game I've invented since I never, ever, ever, ever get to take a crap by myself. Ever.
I'm sure I've written about this before. It's an occupational hazard of becoming a stay at home parent. Inevitably the call of nature bellows and you must answer. Whether your child is not walking yet, crawling or hey, just wants to hang, you are going to have to make room for one more in the most private of places. The shitter.
These days I've worked out a system. It includes a booster high chair and some snacks (for her...not me). But let's back up.

You have a beautiful baby, you're in bliss. You gotta drop a deuce. No prob, your partner lovingly takes the child and you head for the potty. Flash forward 2-3 weeks, your partner returns to work and you are left with your amazing child...who cannot be left alone (really, like legally you shouldn't leave her alone). But really, the moment will come when you need to use the restroom. You'll be good at first, you'll hold out until she's asleep...she will, I repeat she will wake up the moment you sit down.
I started by laying her in her carseat right in front of the open bathroom door. However, the dreaded day will come that yes, you will need to hold your beautiful, perfect, pristine newborn as you drop the "other kids" off at the pool. Yep, I said it. We, as parents, have all done it (and frankly, I'm not convinced you truly are a parent until you've had a staring contest with your kiddo while blowing the butt trumpet).
Now all of this is well and good. It happens, right? Shit, I mean.
Now add another kid.
And a dog.
Because even when Ty has both of the girls, Tootsie feels the need to come and check on me.
Butt (see what I did there?) back to that second kid.
I'll have RP all set up with snacks. She's smiling and happy, I'm about to back up the brown trailer in the garage and ESC come barreling in to "help".
"Hi, Mom. Don't worry I got RP. Whatcha doin? Are you pooping? (giggle, giggle) Peeeeyooooo"
As you can imagine this is all veeery fucking helpful.
So yes, most days there is a party/audience in my bathroom. And some days RP and I even enjoy a little round of Battleshits (yep, what it sounds like, yep, stolen from the White Castle movie).
My point of this post (besides grossing everyone out and finding new euphemisms for pooping) is to point out that we are never alone as parents. I can't cook without a child underfoot. Phone calls often include telling at least one child to shut the hell up please be quiet. Uninterrupted sleep? Doesn't exist. Car ride without kiddie songs? Nope. Dinner alone would need to be booked months in advance and you'd better pray nobody gets sick!
But when I get in my car alone, I find myself looking up the song from the movie ESC and I watched last night. If Ty and I ever get a night out, we often chat about our lovely ladies. If I ever find myself with a moment or two to myself, my heart is filled with thoughts of my girls.
Yes, I can every so often be alone, but my heart and soul are always filled with my babies. So while I pray that one day I do, in fact, get to do a number 2 all by my lonesome, there are 2 that I will never be without.
And I'll never want to.

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

The Babes

So we had this second baby...and it all went to shit.
Of course that's not at all true.
Except that it sort of is.
They say 2 kids is more like 100. I say its more like 872.
872 monkeys. With choking hazards. Who all want attention. Right now!
My house will never again be quiet. Because once you have more than one child I think it's actually a rule that the decibel level in your home needs to go a gazillion. Imagine your sweet newborn crying. And then the big sister wants to sing a lullaby to help out however the baby is having none of it so she cries louder, so big sister sings louder and so on and so forth until you actually understand torture techniques and goddammit you'll give up every fucking secret for just 5 minutes of silence.
Which brings us to bedtime. My first daughter, ESC, slept through the night at 3 months. Once we got her to sleep (which was a pain in the butt there for a while) she stayed asleep, for the most part.
Along comes number 2 and I must've bragged at one point or another because at almost 11 months I am still waiting for more than 2 hours of sleep at a time. And what really sucks is that I just can't figure it out. There is no pattern. She sucks at sleeping whether she's teething, growth spurting, going through a cold or just feels like chatting at 2 am.
They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
Well, welcome to fucking Parenthood.

And then my older one tells me that her baby sis is her best friend and her favorite thing about her is her heart.

It took us a while to decide whether or not to have a second. We had a lot of reasons not to. Money, space, our ages, overpopulation, we thought 'Hey! We could be perfectly happy, just the three of us."
Then the reasons to...we both have siblings, is it fair to Evie Sue to not have another, I LOVED being pregnant, it might be fun...
In the end I think we realized we would regret it more if we didn't try and have another.
And that's how you make a baby, kids!
But seriously, two kids will always be infinitely harder than one. However, it's also harder to imagine your first baby without her baby sister. It's harder to not remember that moment in the hospital when they met. It's harder to think about not saying 'the girls".
So here are my girls.

Thursday, February 18, 2016

Take Two

Well bust my buttons, I'm back!
Take Two...children...please!
Since last we spoke I have birthed another gorgeous, sweet, smiley little girl. She joins her big sister and makes our family exhausted. She's 10 months and still doesn't sleep thru the night. Like, at all. But more on that later.

Take Two...thousand miles. (Well more like 1200) We've moved back to my hometown of White Bear Lake, Mn. We did this for a few reasons but one of the most important was to be near my parents. (And it certainly doesn't hurt that I am a stone's throw from my bestie of almost 40 years!)

Take jobs. Well to be fair, Ty still works for a certain neighborhood grocery store but I left my beloved My Gym and now work for the very school district that graduated me! I am currently working in the extended day program which translates into me getting up at 5am everyday to go hang out with other people's kids and then heading home by 930am to feed mine breakfast!

2016 will be a very interesting year. I'm looking forward to continuing changes and challenges. I look forward to the ups and downs of life as we figure out this new adventure we've embarked on. The move, preschool, new family dynamics and good old Minnesota winters!

Life is different. Life is good (it has to be right?). Life is life.
Get ready folks. I'm back and I have feelings and stuff that I am going to let you all know about.
Duh Duh Duuuuuuh...