Part 4-We need a new title, huh?

So when you get yourself knocked up, with the help of some wonderful man, you want to get every book you see on the matter! Now, I have always been a reader. And I have always been a fan of the library. I would like to feed my child someday so I thought instead of buying every book I could that I would A. hit up my pals who recently had kids and B. go to the library, then if I really liked the book I could go out and buy it.
Here are some of the books that I have read/perused/live my newly pregnant life by:
What To Expect While Your Expecting-This NEVER leaves my bedside.
The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy-Smeh, it was alright but she is very opinionated and the only person I want having opinions about my pregnancy is me.
Belly Laughs-Jenny McCarthy. She's hot. She's funny. It was amusing but a writer she is not.

Now, every one of these books will list for you all of the crazy ass things that will happen to your body, face and mind throughout this process and they always like to preface that some may or may not happen to you personally. I would now like to talk about some of those crazy ass things and how they have affected me.
Trimester One: Nausea, exhaustion and the sorest boobs in America...seriously, my husband couldn't even look at them! That's what I had. Some women get super nasal ability which can either help them detect drugs in a crowded bus station or just make them want to puke all the time. I really wanted this super power, it sounded fun.
Trimester Two: Here's where the fun started for me. Yes I got more energy and my boobs stopped hurting but I also got tummy cramps, crazy hungry, itchy belly, tummy cramps and I now pee whenever I sneeze. I also have a pretty short torso so all my innards are shoved up near my esophagus which makes it relatively uncomfortable to cough.
And yes, I pee ALL THE TIME.
My prenatal vitamins have made my fingernails amazing but really haven't done a whole lot for my hair yet. And P.S. they're gummy!
I have yet to have anything weird happen to my face but my veins, particularly in the area of the decollatage, look like something from a sci-fi movie!
Now for the mind. I am pretty much convinced that it has nothing to do with the obscene amount of hormones that are coursing through my body and more about the fact that I have SO MUCH SHIT TO THINK ABOUT! I am moody, forgetful, and all of a sudden very clumsy.
I'm gassy but of course, I always have been.
And now the saddest of all(besides the fact that my libido is nowhere near it's normal state but that is an entirely different blog), slowly but surely my belly button is disappearing. Yep, I have a feeling that I will in fact, "poke out".
I think I've covered quite enough and I know I will have more to add once we move into Trimester Three.
As for now I will finish with a picture of me at 20 weeks (actually showing a little bit). I plan to continue to document the belly as my little one (and I) grow.

Part 3-How is your pregnancy going? Are we sick of this yet?

So here we are. According to the docs calculations, today we are officially at 20 weeks, or halfway there, or "Holy crap we haven't done any of the shit we should have done. We need to get the nursery ready and find a place for all those goddamn books"!
I'm only half joking. This really is a special day and we spent it doing a couple of special pregnancy related things. I bought my first piece of maternity wear (a "tummy sleeve", to help me continue to wear my pre preg pants) and we decided to actually start documenting my belly as I am finally starting to show a little. What does this process entail? Well really it's about me trying to find an ok outfit, good lighting, the perfect pose and then still hating every shot while my husband stands ever patient with the camera phone.
And there's the point of today's blog. My husband. And his patience.
Now normally he doesn't have an amazing amount of it but as he stands by his hormonal, emotional, neurotic wife, he is a pillar of patience (for the most part). So here a list of some of the amazingly nice things my husband has done(and will continue to do?) for me as we continue on this journey.
1-He rubs my foot (my right foot, if you really know me you understand this). My wonderful husband has to be one of the worst foot rubbers...ever. He just doesn't have the patience and/or concentration. But since getting me pregnant he has really stepped up, pun intended. He goes above and beyond with lotions and such and does it without even having to be asked.
2-He finally tells me what I want to hear...to a point. I get it, I'm preggers, I'm gonna get big. And I WANT to. But there are days that you look in the mirror and see all the weird changes that are happening and you get upset. That's where the good man comes in. My baby tells me how beautiful I am and supports me no matter how many outfit changes I go through, I mean come on, it's not like he's not used to it!
3-Little things.....like telling me it's ok to stay in while he walks the dog. Finding me a walking stick since our neighborhood is full of hills and hills aren't fun right now AND if I happen to forget said walking stick he will put one hand on the small of my back and gently guide me up those hills. And going shopping with me, which he usually hates, to pick out our first little present for our baby girl.
He has been patient, caring, funny, supportive, honest and loving. All the things that are gonna make him a great dad.

Part 2-How is you pregnancy going-Ups and Downs

Every pregnancy is different so I'm told. Some people get terribly sick, I did not. Some people's boobs get huge, mine did not...yet(of course if you know me I figure the pregnancy gods are just being fair). And everyone has different ups and downs. Here are some of my downs:
-Exhaustion. I could fall asleep standing up at a rock concert during the first trimester! It was bad...really.
-Weird bodily changes. Everything inside you shifts....EVERYTHING. My ribs are in my throat, my abdominals are in my back, and I have a sneaking suspicion that I no longer have lungs or a diaphragm as half the time I can't breathe! I feel best in the morning. In fact, sometimes I wake up and wonder if she's still in there. By the end of the day I am bloated and the pressure in my uterus is unreal.
-Hormones. Emotions. Oh dear god. Gentlemen, if you think PMS sucks, just wait until you knock your girl up. Every diaper commercial makes me weep, the sound of my husband's voice goes from making me smile to making me want to punch him in the throat in mere moments and I can no longer hold in any of my true feelings. Whew! And yes, I complain almost daily of feeling fat...my husband likes to just remind me that I am pregnant. This does not help.
-Fears. I am scared. Of what? Oh I don't know, what is happening to my body, childbirth, the big words in all the pregnancy books that I don't understand, not being able to feed my child, dropping her, not being a good mom or raising her the best I can and having her still turn out to be an asshole...to name a few.
Now here are the ups.
-First time we saw and heard baby. There are no words and nothing that can prepare you for this moment. It is incredible.
-An increasing sense of needing to take care of yourself. In recent years I have been a relatively healthy eater but the moment you realize that you are in charge of sending nutrients to a growing being inside of you, you want it to be the best. I eat as fresh as I can and beyond the occasional lemonade the only liquids that enter my body are water, half caff coffee, oj and milk.
-The amazing feeling that as you walk down the street there is no way physically that you can "suck it in", so you don't even try.
-Feeling her move. This is relatively new and it's pretty badass. I can feel her dipping and diving around in there, I'm only sad Ty can't feel it yet.
-Speaking of my husband. The moment you realize that you've created something so precious together you really do become a team. A team that argues over when we should start working on the nursery and where all the books should go so they won't fall on top of our child! But really, it's fun to have this "project" that is all yours and to feel that you two alone are working towards something incredible. It's been hard and emotional at times. But there are also the times when we just sit and dream together about all the things we're gonna show this little girl and that is the best!
-The excitement! I'm excited. 'Nuff said.

And my favorite "up" is one that I have just recently discovered. I am not showing a whole lot but I can definitely feel the large, roundness of my uterus inside of me. When I laugh, if it's a good one, I can feel it everywhere. I feel like Tim Allen in The Santa Clause...really! I literally feel as if I am shaking up a bowl of jelly! At first this weirded me out but then I started to think. If I could make any wish for my daughter it would be that she laughs... a lot. To me it's always been very important to laugh and have a sense of humor and if I can pass that along to my kidlet I will be a very happy mama. So when my husband/baby daddy makes me laugh, which is daily, and I feel as if I should be saying "Hohoho" I'd like to think that I am passing along the giggles. As my belly shakes up and down with glee I imagine
that my little girl can feel the joy and smiles and laughs that are ready to welcome her into the world!

So, how is your pregnancy going?

I realize that I haven't revealed to you, oh reader, a whole lot about this pregnancy(considering I just let it slip that I am in fact, knocked up!). So in honor of being halfway through...this Sunday is 20 weeks!.....here is the start of my "Here Is How My Pregnancy Is Going" series.
Uuumm...yeah. So that first week of being preggers kinda sucked....only kind of though! Now keep in mind, I was roughly 5-6 weeks along, it was a bit of a surprise and we were about to go on a road trip to and through parts of North Carolina that are not exactly "flat" and my ass already gets carsick....so.
Long week short, I was only truly miserable for one day after a very large breakfast of pancakes and bacon (for the record, I have never really been a fan of pancakes and I suspect the baby was messing with me). We told the very minimum of people that we needed to at the time and I became my husband's favorite designated driver.
As we've moved forward I've begun to live my life in "weeks" with a copy of "What to Expect.." next to the bed at all times (thank you Janelle). I have not gotten sick since the unfortunate pancake incident and only really had mild nausea through my first trimester.
I also got lucky in another sense. Somehow I lost weight before I figured out that I was pregnant. Again, keep in mind, I do not own a scale and maybe weigh myself once every other month, maybe. So when I went into the Dr. and they weighed me I told them their scale was wrong! Anyhoo, I suspect it to be a combination of my job (pretty physical), not eating a whole lot on that N. Carolina trip and frankly, cutting out the booze....really, that was a shit load of empty calories that are no longer a part of my diet. One of my docs recently expressed concern over the fact that I have not gained any weight yet. I promised her that I eat and offered to send her a weekly menu which includes pizza, homemade milkshakes, and veggie stuffed sweet potatoes (my fave!). I am a tiny bit convinced that I am actually housing a tapeworm! I've added calories to my diet and I am not terribly concerned, besides my mom has assured me that it will catch up with me...thanks mom.
As I move forward in my second trimester there certainly have been ups and downs to the whole pregnancy experience but that is for another blog...maybe tomorrow!
Do I love being pregnant? I don't know. It's strange and familiar all at the same time. It's amazing how quickly your life, body and mind can adapt to such a huge change. I am getting more and more anxious to meet and hug this little person who is growing in me.
Next time I will write more about those ups and downs. For now, know that as I type I have been consuming a huge breakfast of a bagel topped with cream cheese, tomatoes and avocado and a bowl of fresh strawberries and bananas with cinnamon and am planning a lunch of a sweet potato stuffed with sauteed spinach and other veggies...suck it doc!

Oh the times...they are a-changin'

Let's review, shall we?
My last post, March 31st. I was going on and on about playing this dream role of the Baker's Wife in Into the Woods, a character who desperately wants a child and is doing everything she can to make that happen throughout the first act.
I should have taken that as my first warning.
Now let's talk about the AMAZING director of that show. Her name is Jenny and I love her. She has directed me in three shows and I would work with her again, in any capacity, in a heartbeat. But more importantly (for blog purposes) her shows have this "knack" for producing...well...knocked up women. Every show I have done with her SOMEONE has gotten pregnant during the rehearsals/run of the show.
Again...red flag! Warning! Danger!
I should have walked away...I should have ran.
I should have known.
Fast forward to mid April. The show has closed and Ty and I are about to go on a roadtrip to Asheville N. Carolina for Spring Break. Do you know how many breweries are in/near Asheville?
But I digress...
I was not feeling well in all the suspicious ways so after a beer with coworkers I swing by Target and our lives change forever!
I was/am pregnant!
I cried...a lot. Not because I was unhappy but for crying out loud, it's a shocker! Especially if you are not even trying.
Now don't get me wrong, we know how it happened...and yes kids, it only takes once.
We continued with our out of town plans if only to be able to wrap our brains around this outside of our everyday lives and came back with an understanding of the changes we needed to make in our lives.
And the funny thing is that things just started happening.
Ty got an assistant teaching position at a school he had been interested in for years that just happens to be less than 20 minutes away (as opposed to his previous position where an hour and a half was a "good" commute).
We made decisions and changes. We were honest with each other about our fears and excitement.
So here we are. I've been pretty lucky all around. I feel great, I have a wonderful and supportive husband who is going to be the best dad! And despite all of the scary, unknown, stressful things that are to come, I couldn't be more excited about our sweet, beautiful daughter that continues to grow inside of me.
Oh yeah, it's a girl!

(At least they're 90% sure, so stay tuned...)