Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Working Girl

I am going back to work tonight.
(Well technically I did run a workshop this past Saturday but that was only an hour and a half...)
Tonight I start my Spring session at Drama Learning Center where I direct Junior versions of Broadway shows. I've been lucky enough to do this for the last few years but for obvious reasons I had to sit out of last session.
Tonight I go back. And while I am excited to get out and focus on something besides my precious girl, I have to say I am a little sad. And nervous. And sad.
I'm gonna miss her.
Let's be clear. I am going back to "work" one night a week for the next 2 months...but still!
My husband is perfectly capable of caring for our tiny daughter for a few hours once a week...but still!
I need to get out of the house, focus on something creative and frankly, bring home some dough!...but still!
She is my sweet, tiny everything that I have been with almost 24/7 for the last 3 months! I know what every cry and gurgle means. She knows mommy's voice and is used to it.
I know, I know. I need to let go and trust that she will be fine in the care of others, especially her Dad! What am I gonna do? Never leave her?...Hmmm...
But it's hard!
Not to mention the fact that I am breastfeeding. I can only imagine how uncomfortable I'm gonna be by the end of class (sorry for the TMI...and she won't starve, she's a champ at taking her bottle of thawed frozen milk so no worries there).
Ugh...we need to make money, I need to work, Ty needs alone time with his baby girl, Evie Sue needs time away from Mom...I get it.
But my heart will still break a tiny little bit as I get in my car and look up to see my hubby and my daughter wave goodbye from the window.


Sarah said...

Good luck! It will all be ok ;)

Life in progress said...

Thinking of you! Everything will be ok, but still...I know...it's hard. Just give it time. Pretty soon you will jump at the opportunity for a few hours out of th house alone. :) Ummm....or maybe that's just me ;)