Sunday, December 16, 2012

One Year

525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear. 525,600 minutes - how do you measure,
measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee.
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.
In 525,600 minutes - how do you
measure a year in the life?
How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love. Seasons of

Jonathan Larson could easily have been writing about a first year of parenthood.
My daring girl, my soul, my life, my one year old.
How do I measure that? The daylights I get to spend with her. The midnights I stayed up until(and past). The cups of coffee...well, I've always loved my coffee.
The inches she grown, the miles we've traveled. The laughter she's brought us and the strife we put ourselves through as we try and provide for our sweet baby.

But in true Broadway show tune fashion I will in fact, always measure this year in love. Because before this year I had no idea what love was. I truly learned how to love unconditionally.
What else have I learned in this past year?
Patience. Parenthood is a true lesson in patience and I know it's only just begun. I have never been a patient person, really. But Evie Sue has taught me how to slow down. Slow down and appreciate, slow down so that the diaper is put on correctly, slow down, Momma!
How to breathe. I learned how to take a deep breath and apply it to what is happening. No nap? Deep breath. More whining? Deep Breath. Heavy eyelids? Deep breath. Baby falls on her butt? Deep breath. Daddy gives her a massive piece of food you are convinced she will choke on (of course she doesn't)? Deeeeeep breath.
How to let go. As a Mom, and more specifically a stay at home Mom, you figure out how to do it all. And dammit it better be done your way...all the time...right?
Oh how very wrong. I had to learn (and I continue) to let Ty do things his way. To allow Evie Sue to explore on her own. To let the dog lick her face. To let her learn. On her own.
In the wake of recent events this last one is hard. Very hard.
They say you should congratulate parents at the first birthday. For making it through. While I do agree, this day will be about her and all the joy that she is. She won't remember. We're not doing anything big. I making her favorite, banana cupcakes, and really I'm not even sure if they are her favorite.
But we will celebrate her. Her. Who is everything to me and mine. Who is love.

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