My little girl is 2 months! Holy crapoli! It seems like yesterday I was holding her tiny little 2 week old body, stressing about my mom leaving and breastfeeding and sleep!
I still stress a little about sleep but Evie Sue is getting better at staying asleep longer and I am getting used to less sleep in general.
Obviously I also stress about breastfeeding as this is her food source but that is leaps and bounds above where it used to be.
Everyone says how tiny she is but to me she is ginormous compared to the day she was born. She's got full, smiley cheeks and chunka monka thighs.
Speaking of smiles, our little Button fancies herself a little model with this smile of hers. She started out by mimicking her Momma. I would sit in front of her for hours saying "Hi-i" in my sing songy voice with a huge, idiotic open mouth smile and she would smile back here and there. Nowadays all I have to do is make a raspberry noise or tickle her feet and I get the best reward! An Evie Sue smile!
She is just starting to chat a bit, a few nonsensical noises here and there.
Being a "stay at home" mom has been...interesting. I am staying at home because it is what makes sense for us right now. Do not get me wrong, I am thrilled to spend my days with my sweet girl and frankly don't think I could leave her even if I wanted to, but it's not terribly conducive to that whole "paying the bills" thing. It's been hard. I miss my husband who works his ass off for us. I don't know how I will ever be able to show my gratitude for all he has done. Some days the poor guy literally works from 8am to midnight. I know that I am at home doing something equally important but I am so thankful to have him doing what needs to be done for our family.
All in all, it just gets better. Everyday I learn more and more about this tiny person that I helped make.
Some of my favorite things:
Singing her to sleep.
My early morning hours with her.
Watching Daddy make her laugh.
Watching Evie Sue make Daddy laugh
Snuggling with her and Tootsie.
Showing her off.
Teaching her as much as I can.
So I kind of dig being a mom. I can tell it's only going to get harder but it is also going to be a blast!
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Saturday, January 21, 2012
The things nobody tells you...and the things everyone tells you but you don't believe.
Here we are. One month into this parenthood thing and the one thing that nobody tells you? The one thing that if you were told you may reconsider? The thing nobody tells you because you really wouldn't believe them?
Sometimes it really sucks.
Preface: I love my daughter with every part of my being. At no point are any of my negative feelings directed at her (well most of the time). She is my new everything and what she needs I will deliver to the best of my ability and then some.
But really...sometimes it sucks.
Because you see, she's this little person with feelings and emotions and fears and needs and pain. And absolutely NO way to tell us which is which. This can be frustrating. Especially at 4am. Or at 5pm when you're incredibly sleep deprived and hungry.
Which reminds me. One of those things people always tell you and you don't really believe them? As a new mom, you don't get to eat...ever. I am currently out of frozen meals and I have no idea how I am gonna make it through the night. I have a fridge full of food but I would need to actually have two hands and 5 minutes to prepare it so that's out the window. I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight already. Miracle? Maybe. Can't find time to remember to eat more than a handful of walnuts and some yogurt? More likely.
"Sleep when they sleep". Um, ok.
Still waiting on her to take a nap today. It's 6pm.
Another thing they don't tell you? You will cry. For no reason. At any time during the day. Oh, pregnancy hormones. The gift that keeps on giving.
Oh and don't even get me started on breastfeeding. As my amazing pediatrician said, "Don't let anyone tell you that it isn't painful. Toe curling, kick your legs, actually cry out, painful". Has it gotten better? Yes, for sure. Does it still blow? Yes, for sure.
You will have irrationally angry feelings towards your partner no matter how supportive they are. If you breastfeed, there will inevitably be that night when you have to get up, cause you see, you have the boobies. And you look over and your partner is sound asleep. Snoring, in fact, through the screams coming through the monitor. And irrational as it is, you are pissed and resentful and sort of want to pour a bucket of cold breast milk over them just so they at least wake up and feel your pain.
"You're dog won't be your baby anymore." Now this blows but it's kind of true. It's just that your baby is SO high maintenance that it can be difficult to cater to anyone or anything else. It's not your fault and certainly I still try and give my dog attention when Evie Sue is sleeping but Tootsie gets shorter walks these days and get in a lot of trouble when she gets in to the diaper pail (which is usually my fault for leaving the top up).
I know what you're thinking, "Wow Sara, do you like your new life as a mom at all!?"
Yes, of course. And no. It is a massive lifestyle change. You are not your own anymore, you belong to this little person that you created and you have to make sure she gets everything she needs all the time. You're gonna be late, for everything. Your clothing, which you will wear at least two to three days in a row and sleep in, will smell like spit up/pee/poo/whatever other bodily function happened within the last 24 hours. You will be tired all of the time. You will not be able to catch up, at least not for the next 10 years.
But as you stand over the changing table for the third time in the last 1/2 hour and suddenly she smiles, it's ok. As you rock away in the recliner, praying that she passes out because it's 3:30 am and she coos, it's ok. And as you jump out of bed because the monitor wasn't making any noise and you run into the nursery only to find your husband and child fast asleep, cuddling in said recliner, it's ok.
She grabs your finger, picks her head up for a second, focuses on you face and slowly falls asleep in you arms...it's all ok. It's all worth it.
It's challenging every hour of the day and yes, I've pulled a little hair out here and there.
But it's the best thing I've ever done and the coolest adventure that I can't wait to continue.
Sometimes it really sucks.
Preface: I love my daughter with every part of my being. At no point are any of my negative feelings directed at her (well most of the time). She is my new everything and what she needs I will deliver to the best of my ability and then some.
But really...sometimes it sucks.
Because you see, she's this little person with feelings and emotions and fears and needs and pain. And absolutely NO way to tell us which is which. This can be frustrating. Especially at 4am. Or at 5pm when you're incredibly sleep deprived and hungry.
Which reminds me. One of those things people always tell you and you don't really believe them? As a new mom, you don't get to eat...ever. I am currently out of frozen meals and I have no idea how I am gonna make it through the night. I have a fridge full of food but I would need to actually have two hands and 5 minutes to prepare it so that's out the window. I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight already. Miracle? Maybe. Can't find time to remember to eat more than a handful of walnuts and some yogurt? More likely.
"Sleep when they sleep". Um, ok.
Still waiting on her to take a nap today. It's 6pm.
Another thing they don't tell you? You will cry. For no reason. At any time during the day. Oh, pregnancy hormones. The gift that keeps on giving.
Oh and don't even get me started on breastfeeding. As my amazing pediatrician said, "Don't let anyone tell you that it isn't painful. Toe curling, kick your legs, actually cry out, painful". Has it gotten better? Yes, for sure. Does it still blow? Yes, for sure.
You will have irrationally angry feelings towards your partner no matter how supportive they are. If you breastfeed, there will inevitably be that night when you have to get up, cause you see, you have the boobies. And you look over and your partner is sound asleep. Snoring, in fact, through the screams coming through the monitor. And irrational as it is, you are pissed and resentful and sort of want to pour a bucket of cold breast milk over them just so they at least wake up and feel your pain.
"You're dog won't be your baby anymore." Now this blows but it's kind of true. It's just that your baby is SO high maintenance that it can be difficult to cater to anyone or anything else. It's not your fault and certainly I still try and give my dog attention when Evie Sue is sleeping but Tootsie gets shorter walks these days and get in a lot of trouble when she gets in to the diaper pail (which is usually my fault for leaving the top up).
I know what you're thinking, "Wow Sara, do you like your new life as a mom at all!?"
Yes, of course. And no. It is a massive lifestyle change. You are not your own anymore, you belong to this little person that you created and you have to make sure she gets everything she needs all the time. You're gonna be late, for everything. Your clothing, which you will wear at least two to three days in a row and sleep in, will smell like spit up/pee/poo/whatever other bodily function happened within the last 24 hours. You will be tired all of the time. You will not be able to catch up, at least not for the next 10 years.
But as you stand over the changing table for the third time in the last 1/2 hour and suddenly she smiles, it's ok. As you rock away in the recliner, praying that she passes out because it's 3:30 am and she coos, it's ok. And as you jump out of bed because the monitor wasn't making any noise and you run into the nursery only to find your husband and child fast asleep, cuddling in said recliner, it's ok.
She grabs your finger, picks her head up for a second, focuses on you face and slowly falls asleep in you arms...it's all ok. It's all worth it.
It's challenging every hour of the day and yes, I've pulled a little hair out here and there.
But it's the best thing I've ever done and the coolest adventure that I can't wait to continue.
Friday, December 23, 2011
There's an opening in the C-section.
*Disclaimer: If you are one of my friends who is about to have a baby, stop reading. While I am not about to tell a "horror" story necessarily, I know that I did not want to hear labor room tales before I went in.
So...I had a baby. She's incredible. She has my nose. She did not come into this world exactly as I had planned...hehehe welcome to a world with kids, right?
My due date was December 10th which came and went a little too quickly. We spent the day doing brunch, watching a soccer game and generally trying to keep our minds off the fact that the little one had not yet arrived.
My mother arrived on the 11th and on the 12th the docs scheduled my induction for the 16th.
Mom and I and spent the week finishing the nursery and spending quality time anxiously waiting.
Fast forward to around 8 pm on the 15th of December. Let me just say this. Yes, you know when those little aches and pains turn into actual, for real labor contractions. And yes, they suck, they really, really suck. Apparently my baby just needed to mess with us until the last second and then make her way here on her terms.
We finally made our way to the hospital around 4 am. Thankfully I was dilated enough to be admitted and the blissful, epidural filled waiting began.
Hours passed and still no baby. I guess she had a little stage fright. They decided to "induce". They laid me on my side and started adding small doses of pitocin to help speed things along. Unfortunately the only thing that happened was my baby's heart rate kept dropping. Finally my doctor, we'll call him Mr. Personality (he did fine but his bedside manner sucked!) came in and decided, along with my amazing nurses, that we should move ahead with a c-section.
Now I never knew what the big deal with c-sections was and why people tried so hard to avoid them. Finally someone said to me "It's major surgery, Sara!"...um have we met? I've had at least 10 major surgeries in my life, all under general anesthesia.
This did not matter so much once they started getting me ready. It was such a speedy process that you would think I wouldn't have had time to be absolutely terrified. You'd be wrong. My whole body started shaking, I was crying, in general I was a mess.
No matter, we moved forward into the operating room and after what seemed like only a few moments of pushing, pulling and tugging, my little girl came wailing into the world.
Where was my husband through all of this? Holding my shaking hands, petting my head, coaching me through the whole thing.
They checked her out (9.9 on the Apgar!), Ty got to cut the remainder of the cord and my little girl was placed in my arms.
All in all the hospital stay was short and uneventful (except of course that whole giving birth thing). We got home on Monday night and the real fun began.
This first week at home has been a challenge to say the least with the lack of sleep and breastfeeding alone. Not to mention the recovery. My body is exhausted and I have to constantly remind myself to take it easy. My mom was here for the first 10 days of Evie Sue's life and I couldn't be more grateful. We took her to the airport tonight and I am a little devastated.
But I have an amazing partner by my side who is currently burping our little Button while I eat a slice of pizza and have my one glass of red. Evie Sue is gorgeous and lovely and amazing and I can't believe I helped make her...much less get to hang out with her.
Christmas is always special but this year it's obvious why it will be in our top Christmas' ever. Frankly, it wasn't terribly present filled and we didn't do anything outlandish.
But my husband and I made a tiny little present that came just in time for the holiday and we will celebrate her for the rest of our lives.
I know there will be even harder challenges that we will face but I know we can do it. We have amazing friends and family and each other.
So...I had a baby. She's incredible. She has my nose. She did not come into this world exactly as I had planned...hehehe welcome to a world with kids, right?
My due date was December 10th which came and went a little too quickly. We spent the day doing brunch, watching a soccer game and generally trying to keep our minds off the fact that the little one had not yet arrived.
My mother arrived on the 11th and on the 12th the docs scheduled my induction for the 16th.
Mom and I and spent the week finishing the nursery and spending quality time anxiously waiting.
Fast forward to around 8 pm on the 15th of December. Let me just say this. Yes, you know when those little aches and pains turn into actual, for real labor contractions. And yes, they suck, they really, really suck. Apparently my baby just needed to mess with us until the last second and then make her way here on her terms.
We finally made our way to the hospital around 4 am. Thankfully I was dilated enough to be admitted and the blissful, epidural filled waiting began.
Hours passed and still no baby. I guess she had a little stage fright. They decided to "induce". They laid me on my side and started adding small doses of pitocin to help speed things along. Unfortunately the only thing that happened was my baby's heart rate kept dropping. Finally my doctor, we'll call him Mr. Personality (he did fine but his bedside manner sucked!) came in and decided, along with my amazing nurses, that we should move ahead with a c-section.
Now I never knew what the big deal with c-sections was and why people tried so hard to avoid them. Finally someone said to me "It's major surgery, Sara!"...um have we met? I've had at least 10 major surgeries in my life, all under general anesthesia.
This did not matter so much once they started getting me ready. It was such a speedy process that you would think I wouldn't have had time to be absolutely terrified. You'd be wrong. My whole body started shaking, I was crying, in general I was a mess.
No matter, we moved forward into the operating room and after what seemed like only a few moments of pushing, pulling and tugging, my little girl came wailing into the world.
Where was my husband through all of this? Holding my shaking hands, petting my head, coaching me through the whole thing.
They checked her out (9.9 on the Apgar!), Ty got to cut the remainder of the cord and my little girl was placed in my arms.
All in all the hospital stay was short and uneventful (except of course that whole giving birth thing). We got home on Monday night and the real fun began.
This first week at home has been a challenge to say the least with the lack of sleep and breastfeeding alone. Not to mention the recovery. My body is exhausted and I have to constantly remind myself to take it easy. My mom was here for the first 10 days of Evie Sue's life and I couldn't be more grateful. We took her to the airport tonight and I am a little devastated.
But I have an amazing partner by my side who is currently burping our little Button while I eat a slice of pizza and have my one glass of red. Evie Sue is gorgeous and lovely and amazing and I can't believe I helped make her...much less get to hang out with her.
Christmas is always special but this year it's obvious why it will be in our top Christmas' ever. Frankly, it wasn't terribly present filled and we didn't do anything outlandish.
But my husband and I made a tiny little present that came just in time for the holiday and we will celebrate her for the rest of our lives.
I know there will be even harder challenges that we will face but I know we can do it. We have amazing friends and family and each other.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Two Week Notice
I really had some high hopes(and expectations)for the end of this here journey. You know, I thought, I've been pretty active this entire pregnancy and pretty damn comfy, I'll feel that way until labor right? Not to mention the fact that I am in complete denial that I actually have to give birth and am still convinced I will wake up in two weeks with a flat tummy and a cute baby!
Cause that's when I am due folks...TWO FRICKIN WEEKS!
Now, I realize that this is a guesstimate and I could certainly go earlier or later but still...
TWO WEEKS!
And yes, I am really starting to get uncomfortable. My pelvic muscles are killing me, I am officially a waddler and I am pretty sure I am having false labor as I type.
Don't get me wrong. I am still doing pretty well considering. Considering I am due to squeeze a child out of my hoo-hah exactly 2 weeks from today!
But seriously, I only gained about 20 pounds so I really just started having any sort of back pain and I am still working and walking the dog dammit!
That said, if I am on my feet for too long I am stuck in my recliner for the rest of the night. That whole shifting in the middle of the night from side to side? Only gotten worse. And man, Baby is getting big! She can simultaneously kick me in the ribs and punch me in the cervix...and that can suck, let me tell you!
So I will rest, as I don't have much time left to do that. I will relish my alone time and I will tell my husband how much I love him as much as I can.
Here we go kids...hopefully the next time I post it will be a picture of my gorgeous little girl!
Cause that's when I am due folks...TWO FRICKIN WEEKS!
Now, I realize that this is a guesstimate and I could certainly go earlier or later but still...
TWO WEEKS!
And yes, I am really starting to get uncomfortable. My pelvic muscles are killing me, I am officially a waddler and I am pretty sure I am having false labor as I type.
Don't get me wrong. I am still doing pretty well considering. Considering I am due to squeeze a child out of my hoo-hah exactly 2 weeks from today!
But seriously, I only gained about 20 pounds so I really just started having any sort of back pain and I am still working and walking the dog dammit!
That said, if I am on my feet for too long I am stuck in my recliner for the rest of the night. That whole shifting in the middle of the night from side to side? Only gotten worse. And man, Baby is getting big! She can simultaneously kick me in the ribs and punch me in the cervix...and that can suck, let me tell you!
So I will rest, as I don't have much time left to do that. I will relish my alone time and I will tell my husband how much I love him as much as I can.
Here we go kids...hopefully the next time I post it will be a picture of my gorgeous little girl!
Monday, November 7, 2011
5 weeks to go...maybe...
I say maybe because we have no idea when Baby Girl Cobb will decide to make her grand entrance into the world. She might feel cramped (I do) and decide she wants out early. Or maybe she is perfectly happy where she is (she seems like it) and will be fashionably late. Either way, we cannot wait!
Does that mean we are completely and totally ready?...HA!
Here's the thing. She will be in our room for a little bit so I was not too terribly concerned with the nursery, until last night.
We woke up Sunday morning after a wonderful day in the Capitol Hill neighborhood of D.C. We ate burgers, walked through the food building and outdoor flea and farmers markets that are part of the famed Eastern Market, stopped in a used bookstore (one of Ty's favorite things to do) and sat in an Irish bar so my amazing hubby could have a couple of beers. We finished our lovely day with a fire, movie and pizza in the comfort of our apartment.
So again, here we are on Sunday. I decided to try and relax for a few minutes in the morning before running errands and sending Ty off to work. I took a short nap and then decided that I needed to rearrange the bookshelves in the nursery, ya know, baby steps. 3 hours later I was on a roll, a mission, nesting had taken over. Really! There was nothing I could do. I was compelled to finish whatever it was I was doing. The problem? I needed the computer desk along with the old computer out of there. The other problem? Not only should I not lift any of that at 8 months preggers, I literally couldn't!
So there I sat with nesting blue balls. I just stood there for what seems like an hour, staring. I needed to get this done. Everything in my body NEEDED to get this done. And I couldn't...without help.
I finally gave up. I made some cinnamon toast and hot apple cider, grabbed one of my baby girl's blankets and cuddled up to watch some t.v.
At 10:30 when Ty got home from work what do you think he did? Well he has been amazing through this whole pregnancy so I knew I could count on him. Sure enough he moved all the heavy stuff out of the nursery for me and this morning I woke up bright and early to continue my mission.
It's not done, it's not perfect but I am happy with the progress and not as concerned as I was last night. Again, she's gonna hang with us for a few weeks at least in her sweet little bassinet and then we will start moving her into her own little room.
AND back to our Saturday...mommy and daddy got to have a wonderful day out doing stuff we love to do!
Whether we are ready or not she is on her way.
I think we're ready!
Does that mean we are completely and totally ready?...HA!
Here's the thing. She will be in our room for a little bit so I was not too terribly concerned with the nursery, until last night.
We woke up Sunday morning after a wonderful day in the Capitol Hill neighborhood of D.C. We ate burgers, walked through the food building and outdoor flea and farmers markets that are part of the famed Eastern Market, stopped in a used bookstore (one of Ty's favorite things to do) and sat in an Irish bar so my amazing hubby could have a couple of beers. We finished our lovely day with a fire, movie and pizza in the comfort of our apartment.
So again, here we are on Sunday. I decided to try and relax for a few minutes in the morning before running errands and sending Ty off to work. I took a short nap and then decided that I needed to rearrange the bookshelves in the nursery, ya know, baby steps. 3 hours later I was on a roll, a mission, nesting had taken over. Really! There was nothing I could do. I was compelled to finish whatever it was I was doing. The problem? I needed the computer desk along with the old computer out of there. The other problem? Not only should I not lift any of that at 8 months preggers, I literally couldn't!
So there I sat with nesting blue balls. I just stood there for what seems like an hour, staring. I needed to get this done. Everything in my body NEEDED to get this done. And I couldn't...without help.
I finally gave up. I made some cinnamon toast and hot apple cider, grabbed one of my baby girl's blankets and cuddled up to watch some t.v.
At 10:30 when Ty got home from work what do you think he did? Well he has been amazing through this whole pregnancy so I knew I could count on him. Sure enough he moved all the heavy stuff out of the nursery for me and this morning I woke up bright and early to continue my mission.
It's not done, it's not perfect but I am happy with the progress and not as concerned as I was last night. Again, she's gonna hang with us for a few weeks at least in her sweet little bassinet and then we will start moving her into her own little room.
AND back to our Saturday...mommy and daddy got to have a wonderful day out doing stuff we love to do!
Whether we are ready or not she is on her way.
I think we're ready!
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Let's talk about this thing called the 3rd trimester.
Now, as I have said many, many times before, I have gotten very lucky in this pregnancy. First trimester was peppered with general nausea, one bout of morning sickness, sore boobies and mild exhaustion. Besides some cramping and major heartburn, the second trimester has been good to me. Lots of energy, little weight gain and good feelings and vibes all around as I feel my baby dancing up a storm in there.
Well, as I sit a hop, skip and a Braxton Hicks contraction away from 32 weeks, I can tell you that the 3rd trimester is not showing itself as terribly fun.
I. Am. Tired.
I. Am. Big.
Still. Not. Ready.
I can actually feel my belly stretching and growing as my little girl gets bigger and bigger. I have had a number of those Braxton Hicks contractions, which don't hurt but they are weird. Apparently they are practice for delivery, well, I have 8 1/2 weeks left so slow it down!
As my belly gets larger there is less and less room for those other less important organs like my lungs and stomach. Eating a large meal has become difficult and working 2 jobs that require me to be on my feet and speak loudly can be a challenge.
One other thing that I am being prepared for? Lack of sleep. I get up every few hours to pee and do you know how easy it is to change sides of your body while 7 months pregnant? Not at all. You can't just flip over, oh no. You see, there is this growth, this miraculous, soon to be adorable bundle of joy, growth that is attached to you. So you need to take a moment, flip onto you back, try and take a deep breath (good luck) and finish shifting to the other side all the while feeling a bit like a beached whale. Then once you get settle and comfy with all your pillows you'll realize you have to pee, again.
All of that said, I am pumped. She has clearly gotten bigger as proven the night Ty and I were up late watching movies and all of a sudden it looked as if there was a snake moving under my skin across my belly. I have no idea what body part it was but it was awesome!
Our nursery is slowly but surely coming together (and by coming together I mean we are getting the clutter out!) and for the most part I am still feeling pretty good. I get tired, I feel huge, I feel scared as I realize we are into single digits left these days. But I am also trying to positively prepare for what is about to happen, I'm gonna be a mom! And Ty and I are doing everything we can to support each other as we cross paths during our daily opposite schedules-I made him some yummy cookies the other day and he showed up after work one night with gorgeous yellow roses for no reason at all!
So with about 8 weeks left (oh crap) I move forward with the most positive, excited, happy outlook I can...while still a little bit scared to death!
Well, as I sit a hop, skip and a Braxton Hicks contraction away from 32 weeks, I can tell you that the 3rd trimester is not showing itself as terribly fun.
I. Am. Tired.
I. Am. Big.
Still. Not. Ready.
I can actually feel my belly stretching and growing as my little girl gets bigger and bigger. I have had a number of those Braxton Hicks contractions, which don't hurt but they are weird. Apparently they are practice for delivery, well, I have 8 1/2 weeks left so slow it down!
As my belly gets larger there is less and less room for those other less important organs like my lungs and stomach. Eating a large meal has become difficult and working 2 jobs that require me to be on my feet and speak loudly can be a challenge.
One other thing that I am being prepared for? Lack of sleep. I get up every few hours to pee and do you know how easy it is to change sides of your body while 7 months pregnant? Not at all. You can't just flip over, oh no. You see, there is this growth, this miraculous, soon to be adorable bundle of joy, growth that is attached to you. So you need to take a moment, flip onto you back, try and take a deep breath (good luck) and finish shifting to the other side all the while feeling a bit like a beached whale. Then once you get settle and comfy with all your pillows you'll realize you have to pee, again.
All of that said, I am pumped. She has clearly gotten bigger as proven the night Ty and I were up late watching movies and all of a sudden it looked as if there was a snake moving under my skin across my belly. I have no idea what body part it was but it was awesome!
Our nursery is slowly but surely coming together (and by coming together I mean we are getting the clutter out!) and for the most part I am still feeling pretty good. I get tired, I feel huge, I feel scared as I realize we are into single digits left these days. But I am also trying to positively prepare for what is about to happen, I'm gonna be a mom! And Ty and I are doing everything we can to support each other as we cross paths during our daily opposite schedules-I made him some yummy cookies the other day and he showed up after work one night with gorgeous yellow roses for no reason at all!
So with about 8 weeks left (oh crap) I move forward with the most positive, excited, happy outlook I can...while still a little bit scared to death!
Thursday, September 8, 2011
I'm having a baby...no really, a baby!
It occurred to me the other day that I'm having a baby.
I mean, I get it. She's in there. Moving around, having dance parties at 11pm, stretching my tummy out and making me really cranky if I haven't eaten in a few hours.
But really...a baby!
I was sitting and doing the math again the other day as I have my doc appt tomorrow and I thought to myself...
"Holy F*@$&! We have 3 months to go!"
Three months people! That is not a long time...AT ALL.
I have fully embraced pregnancy. You kind of have to. I appreciate my growing belly (for the most part) and as I have said before I got really lucky. It (pregnancy) seems to suit me. Not that I am planning to do this again terribly soon, I'm just sayin'.
But all of a sudden as I am mere moments from my third trimester, things are changing. I am getting more and more uncomfortable, sleeping less, heartburn is killing me, I suspect that my feet may swell soon and I have discovered one baby stripe (I will not say stretch mark) right across the middle of my upper belly.
I have also started to think about what is to come after Dec. 10th (my supposed due date). I won't be working right away, my hubby will be working all the time, and I will be left alone with this little person who will be relying on me for survival...no pressure.
I'm a little scared. Scratch that, I'm a lot scared! I know I have an incredible support system and plenty of people waiting in the wings to jump out and babysit, visit, cook dinner, or just hold her while I nap.
But still...
I'M the one who has to give birth. I'M the one who has to figure out breastfeeding. There will be days when it is just her and I, trying to figure each other out, for hours on end.
Don't get me wrong. I am very much looking forward to my alone time with my little girl but let's be real...it's probably gonna get old for a bit before she starts reacting and developing her personality.
So here I sit. Scared, excited, fat(in a good, purposeful way...but fat), scared, emotional, thrilled, oh and scared.
I can't wait to meet her and start this whole new chapter.
But I also kind of dig things the way they are...before the whole childbirth thing happens.
I have so many plans for our family.
But I feel completely unprepared for her arrival.
I'm so excited to carry her and hug her and help her take her first steps.
But I think I will miss feeling her inside of me.
It is a massive bag of mixed emotions as we move closer to the end of the first leg of this incredible journey.
I mean, I get it. She's in there. Moving around, having dance parties at 11pm, stretching my tummy out and making me really cranky if I haven't eaten in a few hours.
But really...a baby!
I was sitting and doing the math again the other day as I have my doc appt tomorrow and I thought to myself...
"Holy F*@$&! We have 3 months to go!"
Three months people! That is not a long time...AT ALL.
I have fully embraced pregnancy. You kind of have to. I appreciate my growing belly (for the most part) and as I have said before I got really lucky. It (pregnancy) seems to suit me. Not that I am planning to do this again terribly soon, I'm just sayin'.
But all of a sudden as I am mere moments from my third trimester, things are changing. I am getting more and more uncomfortable, sleeping less, heartburn is killing me, I suspect that my feet may swell soon and I have discovered one baby stripe (I will not say stretch mark) right across the middle of my upper belly.
I have also started to think about what is to come after Dec. 10th (my supposed due date). I won't be working right away, my hubby will be working all the time, and I will be left alone with this little person who will be relying on me for survival...no pressure.
I'm a little scared. Scratch that, I'm a lot scared! I know I have an incredible support system and plenty of people waiting in the wings to jump out and babysit, visit, cook dinner, or just hold her while I nap.
But still...
I'M the one who has to give birth. I'M the one who has to figure out breastfeeding. There will be days when it is just her and I, trying to figure each other out, for hours on end.
Don't get me wrong. I am very much looking forward to my alone time with my little girl but let's be real...it's probably gonna get old for a bit before she starts reacting and developing her personality.
So here I sit. Scared, excited, fat(in a good, purposeful way...but fat), scared, emotional, thrilled, oh and scared.
I can't wait to meet her and start this whole new chapter.
But I also kind of dig things the way they are...before the whole childbirth thing happens.
I have so many plans for our family.
But I feel completely unprepared for her arrival.
I'm so excited to carry her and hug her and help her take her first steps.
But I think I will miss feeling her inside of me.
It is a massive bag of mixed emotions as we move closer to the end of the first leg of this incredible journey.
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